Miracles Do Happen

2 Month Check-Up and Surgery

2009-08-18T18:17:00.004-04:00

My surgery is scheduled for this Friday (8/21) at 1:30pm. I am starting to worry about it and can come up with at least 1,000 things that could go wrong with the surgery. This is the nurse talking here. LoL! I am worried about the pain and wether I will have good pain control. I stocked up on chicken and beef broth and soups, because I don't know what my diet will be like post surgery. Ohhhh I don't know. I am such a control freak and the thought of me being put to sleep and losing control is driving me crazy!! Phil is taking a couple of days off to help me with Mady and Callie. I have to pump and dump for 24 hours due to the anesthesia. I am only going to be on pain meds that are compatible with breastfeeding so I don't have to worry about that. I don't know what else to do to prepare. Any suggestions that I might not be thinking about?!?

Mady had her 2 month check up today. She weighed in at 9lbs and 9ozs. Her head circumference is 15 inches, and she is 21 and 1/4 inches long. She is 25 percentile in all measurements which means she is a peanut =o) She got 2 shots plus an oral medicine. She is doing really well with the shots...not too fussy. Everything else is fine. They are thinking about changing her zantac medicine, but we are going to see how she does with a med increase first. She is sleeping about 6 hour stretches at night and eats about every 3 hours during the day.

I'm going back to work on September 13th. However, I have to CPR and NRP on Sept. 9th and 10th. I was planning on going back 2 nights a week, but we won't be able to afford it at first. Its going to be so hard to go back. I never went back to work after I had Callie, so this will be the first time experiencing "going back to work" and leaving Mady at home. Ugh!! I don't even want to think about it.

7 weeks old, test results, and surgery

2009-08-04T23:02:00.004-04:00

Mady at 6 weeks old

Callie (about a week ago) with her never ending talents =o)

Today, my little one is 7 weeks old. At her last doctors appointment (about 2 weeks ago), she weighed in a whopping 7lbs 6oz. I was so proud of her! She was right on track to where she needed to be. She should gain 2 lbs a month. She only got one shot, and she didn't have any bad reactions to it. She has started sleeping in 4-5 hour stretches at night which is good, but she still has at least one 3 hour stretch each night. She usually eats and goes right back to bed. She is such a good baby. She only cries when she wants to be fed, but she gets really really angry quickly if you don't feed her right away. Breastfeeding is still going great! She doesn't get weighed again for two more weeks, and then she gets 5 shots that day =o( Not looking forward to that.
I finally had my HIDA scan and UGI done about 2-3 weeks ago. I have to tell a funny story. The nurse told me that I had to take my bra off for the UGI, but I told her that if I took my bra I would leak all over the gown because I am breastfeeding my daughter. She was treating me like I was over exaggerating. After going back and forth with her, I gave up and went into the bathroom took my bra off and by the time I got the gown on and opened the door, the whole front of the gown was soaked =o) She was so embarrassed, and I wanted to scream told you so! I put on another gown and ended up taping nursing pads to my boobs so that i could finish the test. The HIDA scan was horrible! I was in soooo much pain during the test. I had to pump my milk for 48 hours and freeze it while we gave Mady bottles so that the radioactive material could die off. It took a week for my results to come back. She said my UGI was normal. She said on the HIDA scan (gallbladder) anything lower than a 35 that they remove the gallbladder in surgery....mine scored a 9. Basically, its not functioning at all, so I have to have surgery to remove it. I am scheduled to meet with the surgeon on 8-10, and I am hoping to have it taken out at the end of next week. It looks like recovery is about 2 weeks. Work is already hassling me to come back, but I can't give them a date until I find out when my surgery is. It looks like I can go back the first week in September. I really don't want to go back, but I have to....at least I am only going back 2 12 hour shifts a week.
I'll update again when I find out my surgery date, so that I can get prayers for my surgery and quick recovery =o)

Almost a month old!!

2009-07-12T22:33:00.002-04:00

Wow, time flies when you are sleep deprived and utterly exhausted. I forgot how tiring having a newborn in the house can be. We had a rough start where Mady had her days and nights mixed up. After a few conversations from some fellow nurse friends, it was decided that the lactation consultant/pediatricians advice wasn't going to cut it in my house. We decided to let Mady set her own schedule. Now she sleeps a whole lot better. She almost always wakes up every 3 hours with a 5 hour stretch here and there. She is such an excellent nurser!! I am so thankful for that. She is a pro =o) Callie was such a hard and stubborn nurser. Mady has her 1 month check up on friday, and we will know how much she weighs plus she gets shots ='o( Callie is doing great as a big sister! I am so proud of her. She helps a lot. An update on me: I have been getting worse this last week. The GI doc said that if the pain wasn't back my 3 weeks post partum then it probably won't be back. The burning, pressure, and severe stomach pain are back with severe right shoulder pain. It isn't as bad as it was while I was pregnant. I still am eating, but I'm not throwing up. I have a little nausea, but it's manageable. I have an upper GI and HIDA scan scheduled for the 20th. If those are negative, then they will do a upper endoscopy. I am starting to think that I might have a bad gallbladder. We'll see. Work is already starting to hassle me when I want to come back. Aaacckkk! I'm scared to go back!

Update on Bili

2009-06-22T16:18:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, Mady's bili was 11.1 and today it was under 10. We can now take her off the lights and see what she does. She will have her bili tested tomorrow to see if it rebounds at all. If not, then she is done for good with stupid lab draws. She goes back to the pediatrician on wednesday for a weight check. She is eating so good!!! Its like she is on my boob 24/7. I think she is trying to catch up with her weight. She sleeps and wakes up when she is ready to eat and then goes back to sleep. I hope she continues with this pattern =o)

5 Days Old

2009-06-20T21:30:00.002-04:00

Madelyn went in for her checkup this morning. She gained 1.5 ounces and now weighs 5lbs and 4.5ozs. This is without any formula supplementation!! Her bili only went down to 13.6, so she is still under the lights. I am so proud of my little girl! Mady has been eating like every 2 hours today and not being sleepy at all. I guess maybe that she is going through a growth spurt?!? She is starting to hate being under the lights. I don't blame her, because I hate not being able to hold her :o( She doesn't have to go back to the doc for a weight check until wednesday, but she has to have her blood drawn for sunday and monday for now. We are going to take some pics tomorrow and hopefully post them. We already took her first bath pics.
Here is the link to her hospital pics: http://www.our365.com/NewbornPortraits/BabyDetail.aspx?birthid=dc82c39d-0536-4271-8190-9163e23b7fc5

Madely Rose is here!!!

2009-06-19T17:13:00.003-04:00

I was going to try to update during the hospital so that I could remember all of this. As stuff started to happen, I had a hard time trying to make myself get on the computer to blog about it. I started thinking that maybe I didn't want to remember this. Now, I am just going to blog about the major parts. I was in the hospital for a total of 13 days. They decided to go ahead and deliver Mady because they couldn't figure out what was wrong with me while I was pregnant. I had an amnio on Monday morning to check to see if her lungs were mature enough for delivery after 2 shots of betamethazone. I was also on Lovenox injections while having the PICC in. They wanted a level over 55, and hers were 71. On monday afternoon at 4:20pm, I was induced using cervadil. I was told after 12 hours, they would start the pitocin. I started out as 0.5cm dilated. As soon as she put the cervadil in, I started having horrible cramping sensations. I got 2 doses of stadol. I was 4cm by 2am and was able to get my epidural. The doc had to attempt it 4 times before she got it in the right area, but it really didn't hurt at all. After all the pain, I had been put through so far that was nothing compared to it. I was 6cm a 7:30 am. We called family and friends and told them to start getting ready to come in that we would have a baby by noon. I got 3 extra doses through my epidural during labor with the continuous drip. At 8 am, I started feeling this horrendous pressure in my bottom that kept getting worse with the contractions. At 8: 30, I called the nurse to check me and I was 9cm. My mom then left to go to the gifts shop. About 10 minutes later, I was coming off the bed because I needed to push. My nurse had just checked me. She checked me again, and I was 10cm and ready to go. I never had to get the pitocin. Phil called my mom to run back to L&D while the nurse called for the doctor. I had a hard time remembering to breathe when I was in so much pain. My mom arrived with my sister just in time. I pushed for 3 sets of pushes, and Madelyn was born at 9:27 am. She weighed in at 5lbs and 13 ozs and was 19 inches long. She apgared at 9,9. She didn't have any problem with labor, delivery, or recovery. I cried so hard after she was born. The nurse and doctor kept asking me what was wrong, but I just kept saying it was such a hard road. After 16 months of TTC, fertility meds, and a horrible pregnancy, it was all so worth it to bring my little peanut into this world. She was born at 36 weeks and 4 days.She is now 4 days old. We are having jaundice problems. Her bili level today was 14, so they started her on an overhead phototherapy light today. She lost 10 ozs since birth and now weighs 5lbs and 2ozs, so we have to supplement with formula after breastfeeding. We have daily doctor's appointments for her bili level and weight checks. She is a great breastfeeding baby! I am so happy for that. She has been spitting up, so they might start her on reflux meds if she continues for a few days.I left the hospital with a bunch of Rx meds from the GI doc. We are going to give it a few weeks to see if the symptoms show back up. I threw up this morning and have been having the burning sensations in my stomach/chest with the pressure. I am going to give it till Monday and if it hasn't gone away by then I will call and set up times for the test that they want to run. After running all over town today for Mady, my feet are hugely swollen, and I started bleeding bright red blood again. I am now trying to stay off my feet.Callie has been such a good big sister!!! I am so happy. She loves to get mommy things and hold Mady's paci in when she cries. She also loves to sing songs to her!I will update better now that most of this is behind me. Just loving being a new mommy again!!!

Madelyn Rose in the nursery getting all warmed up.

Big sister Callie so happy!!

Holding Mady for the first time.

1 week down in the hospital.....

2009-06-12T10:35:00.003-04:00

*****Old post that I am now posting****

Today, it has been one week since I have been in the hospital. I don't know how much more of this that I can take. It is really taking a toll on my family especially my little Callie. She misses her mom so much, and it is so hard to make her understand what is going on and why mommy has to stay in the hospital. She loves to come see me and loves to go to the nursery to see all the new babies!! I think she is going to make a great big sister. I still have the PICC line (central line) in with the TPN. I am trying to start eating little bits of food here and there to see what happens, but so far no luck. It just makes me stomach start to cramp, severe heart burn, and chest pressure. I have also been feeling so hot! I have the thermostat on the lowest setting that it can go on plus they brought a fan in here.

Admitted to the hospital

2009-06-07T20:23:00.003-04:00

I have been admitted to the hospital since Friday. I just now got my laptop so I can blog/journal my experience, so that I can remember this when I want to get pregnant again, lol!! Anyways, I haven't been able to keep any solid foods down since about 13 days ago. I was able to keep fluids down until this past tuesday. I had lost 4 lbs again in a week, and was just plain miserable. On Wednesday, I saw my doctor, and she put me on Reglan and told me to stop taking the zofran and phenergan. She wanted me to come back in two days on Friday. I did what I was told, but was still throwing up everything. She sent me from the doctors office straight to the hospital. They ran some labs and at first Mady's fetal heart strip wasn't looking good. After about 2 bags of fluids, Mady perked up some. My potassium was really low at 3, my glucose was low, and my WBC was elevated at 20,000. They went ahead and admitted me. I saw my doctor on Saturday morning, and since I was still not eating that we would give me a couple of days to see if I get any better and if not we would talk about an amniocentesis and possibly delivering Mady early. At the thought of having an amnio done, I tried to eat some solids on saturday. For lunch, I had some potato soup and half a sandwich. I immediately felt sick and nauseous, but did not throw up. I thought since I was getting my fluids through an IV that I was taking a turn for the better. For dinner, I had a pickle spear, chicken noodle soup, a piece of cucumber, and a bite of a tuna wrap. I started to get nauseous with the flushing, tachycardia, sweating, but still did not throw up. I went to bed and woke up at 4am throwing up what was left in my stomach and then some. It was so forceful again that I peed my pants again. I just wanted to die! Today, we talked to a high risk OB to see if he had any ideas of what could be going on. He is going to test for a whole bunch of rare stuff since I seem to have stumped everyone (paging Dr. House). He is going to test my blood tomorrow for some bacteria that starts with an H...pylori, my cortisol levels to see if my adrenal glands are functioning, thyroid levels, urine culture, and something else that I can't remember. They are also going to do a full OB ultrasound, BPP, and my doc is going to talk to me in the morning about the amnio and delivering early. Today, i haven't had a solid food, but I have had clear broth and some tea. I feel a lot better today than I did yesterday. Its weird that solid foods make me sick, but the fluids don't. Mady has had numerous NST's and she passes them all. Being in the hospital sucks!!! I can't imagine being stuck in here for months. I miss Callie, and she misses me! She saw me today. Today is also our 6th wedding anniversary. I will update tomorrow afternoon once we know more. I really think Mady has a better chance on the outside so that she can get her nutrition from milk since I can't give her any nutrition from me. There is a cute little 32 weeker (4.5lb) baby in the special care nursery here. I think this is God's way of telling me that Mady will be fine. I already know that she weighed 4lbs 12 ounces 3 weeks ago. We will find out her estimated weight tomorrow by the u/s. Still keep praying for us!

Sibling Class/Doc Update

2009-06-03T17:53:00.003-04:00

Well, the sibling class didn't really go as expected. Callie has a FEAR of doctors/hospitals. I told her that we were going to class and that she equated that with going to school. As soon as the woman started the class, she said welcome to the hospital...this is where the doctors and nurses will take care of your mom and new sibling when they are born. That was all it took for Callie. She started crying and wanted to leave right away. There were about 8 other kids there that were being angels. The nurse wanted all the kids to sit in the floor at the front of the class so that they could "talk". Callie refused to do it unless i sat on the floor with her. Guess where my 8 1/2 month pregnant belly ended up?!? You guessed it. The floor. When Callie gets nervous, she has to go pee/poop. This is all she kept saying. I just took her to the potty before the class started. She was having some major gas attacks too. My poor nervous Callie. She wanted to sit in my lap and Mady kept kicking her. Finally, after another trip to the bathroom, Callie was handed a life size baby doll to hold. The nurse was trying to show her the proper way to hold a newborn. She refused to do it. She kept saying the baby was to big and her arms were too small. All the other kids were being perfect. Aaaccckkk!! We then took a tour of L&D rooms, post partum rooms, and they brought out a baby that was only 6 hours old for the kids to see. She started to do better as were walking around. I asked her if she was going to come see mommy while I was in the hospital, and she said that she would think about it!! I hope she does better to adjusting once Mady gets here.
I had my check up today. It didn't go over as usual. I lost 4 lbs in the last week...now I am down to -15lbs this pregnancy. BP was 122/74. Baby was measuring fine and HR was fine. She checked my cervix to make sure that it was close since I was having all the pressure and contractions. The cervix was closed, but she said that she could feel the baby's head right on the cervix. This is probably where the pressure and contractions are coming from. I on the other hand told her about all my nausea, vomiting, heartburn, not being able to keep down anything expect if i sip liquids, and diarrhea. I told her that I was taking the zofran and the phenergan and it wasn't helping any. She suggested gall bladder disease. She did the test where she presses on my gallbladder and I lift my leg and boy I about came up off the table in pain!! I didn't think anything at all about my gall bladder. She wants me to stop taking the zofran and phenergan and started me on reglan. I am to go back on friday to see if there is any change. If now, she wants to admit me to the hospital to run some test on my gall bladder and put me on some type of IV fluids. Can you have your gall bladder out while pregnant?!? This weekend is my 6th wedding anniversary so I am hoping that the meds work so that Phil and I can go out to dinner on sunday. I really hope I am not in the hospital this weekend. We will see how I feel friday.

Sick Again

2009-06-02T12:32:00.002-04:00

I seriously don't understand how my body just hasn't shut down after this pregnancy. The nauseousness and vomiting is back AGAIN. I just don't know how much more I can take of this!!! Everything that goes in comes back out. Please God make it stop!!! The vomiting is so strong that it forces me to lose my bladder contents and causes me to have some really bad contractions afterwards. I am going to bring this up to the doctor tomorrow to see if there is anything that can help me. I have been taking the zofran AND phenergan religiously and its not helping. I have been trying to eat small snacks here and there and thats not working. I don't know why this feels so different than the morning sickness that I had, but it does.
On other news, tonight is Callie's sibling class at the hospital. We are going to Wal-mart before the class so that she can pick out a doll to take with her. Wish us luck!!

Scare

2009-05-31T12:10:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, I really thought Mady might make an appearance. I have been so stressed out this week because I am having a baby shower at my house. We had to repair a hole that was in the ceiling from a leak, cleaning, and getting the nursery ready. I think I probably just overdid it this week. I woke up yesterday with tons of rectal pressure like I needed to have a bowel movement. TMI!!!! I have been having regular BM's so I know that I am not constipated. After being awake for a few hours, I started having some really strong contractions. The worse so far! I was having about 3-4 an hour. During this whole thing, Mady wasn't moving hardly at all! I had to whip out the doppler a few times to check on her. I was having so much vaginal/rectal pressure! If i bent over I could feel her head pushing on the back of my pelvis. I know she is low, but this is ridiculous. The contractions were the type that makes you bend over and hold your breath/scream. I didn't want to call the doc, because all they will say is go into L&D. I wanted to either wait until my water broke, lost my "plug", or I had any bleeding before going into L&D. I had my grandma stay with me overnight just in case something happened. I was completely exhausted by 10pm and fell into bed. Mady finally started moving like her usual self around midnight. I slept very soundly last night. When I woke up, Mady was on the move like usual. I am still having the rectal pressure but no where near like it was yesterday. I have only had 3 contractions today since 8am. They are pretty painful. I have a docs appointment on Wednesday, and I want her to check me to see if anything is going on down there with all these strong contractions and pressure. I am going to try to take it easier and not do so much. I need her to stay in at least 2 more weeks.

Another trip to the hospital!!

2009-05-23T14:26:00.002-04:00

After being in bliss for about 10 hours from the good news that we got from the u/s, my bad mojo/karma/luck whatever you want to call it was back again. My little brother graduated from high school last night. I have pics that I will post later that include belly pics. We all went out to eat afterwards. It was really late at night, and Callie and I were leaving the parking lot of a restaurant (10:30pm) to go home. I was exhausted, and she was out way past her bedtime. As we were getting in the car, my grandma was walking up behind us and Callie let go of my hand and took off running to get to nanny. We were in a parking lot, and I freaked out thinking she was going to get hit by a car. I turned around and started to run after her. I was wearing these really stupid dressy shoes that I shouldn't have been wearing in the first place. I got tangled up in my feet and Callie fell down. As she fell, I went tumbling across four parking spaces with arms and legs flailing everywhere...literally something you would have seen in the movies. It was the first time in my life that I didn't know what to do as a mother...try to grab Callie and protect her from the fall or grab my belly and protect Mady. I'm sure there will be more moments like this to come. I think what happened is that I rounded myself into a ball so that all my extremities took the brunt of the fall instead of my belly. I laid there in the parking lot wailing because I could not believe that happened. I don't think I have ever fallen in my entire life. I was hyperventilating because I couldn't figure out if I was seriously hurt. It took me awhile to get my breathing controlled and 3 people to get me off the pavement. We called the doctor, and he wanted me to go to the hospital to make sure Mady hadn't been injured in the fall. She didn't move at all after I fell, and I was scared. My right side of my face, my left shoulder, left elbow, left wrist/hand, and my left knee are all bruised and scratched up. We were at the hospital, and they monitored the baby for a little over 2 hours. As soon as the nurse put on the monitor belts, Mady started kicking them right away. I knew then that she would be ok. I had a bunch of minor contractions, but nothing serious. They did a non-stress test and all my strips were good. They gave me a list of stuff to watch for like my water breaking or any bleeding....so far so good. I laid there in the bed and was just in awe that this happened to me. I mean seriously?!? Can i have a break sometime soon. I asked the nurse for her "professional" opinion about what the tech said about the baby being engaged in my pelvis and how so little room there was between Mady's head and my vaginal opening. She said would guess that Mady might be here around 36/37 weeks. She also said that I would probably have a really fast labor since she is already engaged in my pelvis. Today, I feel like I have been hit by a bus! I kinda look like it too, lol. I am seriously thinking about locking myself in my room for the next month to stay out of trouble =o) I AM trying to take it easy, but for some reason stuff just keeps happening to me. I think poor Mady is going to vacate my uterus for fear of my bad luck =o) This child is definitely a fighter and a little trooper.

Prayers Answered

2009-05-22T16:14:00.002-04:00

I want to thank everyone for their prayers, and their emails of encouragement that have been sent to me. I didn't sleep very well last night as imagined. I have been having bad nightmares lately. Anyways, we went back for the appointment and I had decided that I wanted to ask the tech to measure the weight since this would tell me more than measuring my belly. Instead of a BPP, the NP ordered a full u/s with weight and measurements. We were in there for about 30 minutes. The big news first.....Mady does NOT have a nuchal cord anymore. Somehow, she wiggled out of it or took it off. I know that this is very rare, but the u/s tech searched for 10 minutes following the cord from the placenta all the way to the umbilicus. Truly a miracle! Mady's fluid levels went from 15 to 17.5. She weighs in at 4lbs and 12 ounces. An average 33 week weight is 4lbs 5 ounces. She is measuring exactly at 33 weeks besides her head/brain is measuring at 36 weeks. Her head is HUGE! I hope she can fit through the birth canal!! She has dropped as the NP suspected. The tech was going to measure my cervix, but Mady was so low that she couldn't even see it to measure it. She showed me where her skull was and where my vaginal opening was and it was amazing that Mady hasn't fallen out yet. The space was like pencil lead thin between the two. Mady can't get any lower without falling out. Everything looked great...all the organs were perfect. I can stop worrying now. Mady has listened to all of mommy's begging and pleading. I am guessing that Mady will probably be here before her 38 week induction. Time will tell. We are off to see my little brother graduate from high school tonight. Again, thank you all for the prayers and support! We truly do have a little miracle here!

Nervous

2009-05-21T21:24:00.002-04:00

Why can't i ever go to a doctors visit and get good news?!? Ever since Tuesday nights contractions, Mady hasn't been moving as much as she usually does. If i drink something or eat something, then she might move around a bit and then thats it. Even when I lie on my back (which she used to hate) will not get her to move. You can also press all you want on my belly, and she won't move or kick. She used to fight the doppler, but now she doesn't do anything. I brought this up at my appointment today. Bp was 112/64. Gained 2 lbs...so still negative 10 lbs this pregnancy. HR sounded fine at the appointment. The thing is she hasn't grown any in the last 2 weeks. I have been consistently measuring 2 weeks/cm ahead of schedule. She measured 32cm at my last appointment that was 2 weeks ago. She measured 32cm today, so no growth. I will be 33 weeks tomorrow. The NP didn't act concerned since I am within range, but that doesn't seem right to me. Her only explanation is that maybe Mady has dropped lower into my pelvis to prepare for birth, and therefor she would measure differently. Should Mady be "dropping and preparing for birth" at 33 weeks?!?? I don't think she can get any lower. I already feel like she is about to fall out anyways. There was no doctors in the office, so I have to go back tomorrow at noon to have my BPP and u/s done. I don't know what to think. Should I worry?

A tough night

2009-05-20T13:38:00.002-04:00

The day started out yesterday with hubby and I going to see a movie in the afternoon. I was feeling fine until about half way when I started to just feel plain sick but couldn't pin point what was wrong with me. We got home about 4pm, and I still didn't feel right. I laid down till about 7:30. I couldn't sleep but started to have these period-like cramping sensations in my lower uterus in front and back. We went to go get something to eat since I was feeling way too yucky to cook anything. At about 9pm, the cramping sensation started to migrate from the lower part of my uterus up to the middle part of my abdomen in front and back. You could actually time them this time. This was way different than the braxton-hicks contractions that I have been having for the last few weeks. They were coming about 8-10 minutes. This lasted from about 7:30pm to 11:30pm. We went to grocery store, because we had to grab some stuff. Poor Wal-mart guys. I got sick again. I think the pain was getting a little too intense for me which caused me to lose the little food that I did eat. I did make it into some big blue bin that was sitting in an aisle instead of on the floor. My mom wanted me to call the doctor, but I know all they would say would be go to the hospital to get checked out. I don't want to be one of those patients that runs to the hospital at every little bump in the road. The contractions finally stopped at 11:30pm and started back up at 1:30am. They were the same consistency as before. I took a warm bath, and they stopped again at 3:30am. I then slept not too badly after that. I haven't had any more since then. I have an appointment tomorrow and will talk to the doc about it. I had the hip pains again last night while I slept too. I have so much going on in the next week that I need Miss Mady to behave until then. I have 3 baby showers in the next week and one is at my house...plus Friday, my little brother graduates from high school. Please keep us in your prayers!!

32 weeks 1 day

2009-05-16T13:09:00.002-04:00

I am starting to get really uncomfortable and feeling like crap. I haven't been able to sleep in like 4 nights, and it is starting to wear on me. I obviously can't sleep on my stomach and the back is off limits. I have been sleeping on my sides fine. Except the last couple of nights, I have been having these horrendous hip pains. If i lay on one side for longer than 30 minutes or so, then I get these sharp pains in that hip. Then i flip to the other side and the same thing. Basically, I do this all night long. It has gotten so bad that my husband doesn't even sleep in the same bed as I do, because I move too much. My hips/pelvis even hurts during the day when I am sitting. This is different pain than the sciatic nerve pain. I am assuming that this pain is from my hips getting ready for labor. I have been having a lot of lower back pain too, so I am assuming that stuff is getting ready down there. I also have noticed that i have been having an extreme sense of thirst lately and it has to be for water. It started at like 27 weeks, and I thought maybe it was because I was a gestational diabetic. When that test came back negative, I never thought about it. Over the last few weeks, the thirstiness is ridiculous. I would rather drink water than eat. How silly is that?!? I drank about a gallon of water or more a day. I even have to take a glass or two and sit it by my bedside because I wake up with a parched mouth and have to drink something. I'm starting to think that this is a little weird. Any ideas? All the water doesn't do very well for my bathroom trips either. I have also been having constant headaches. Mady seems to be doing well. She is moving a lot. I am starting to be able to see body parts move over my belly. A few times, I was sure i was see a hand or foot. She likes to push my belly button really high. This is so uncomfortable, because my belly button is stretched from an innie to an almost flat position. The poor this is soooo sore, and she just keeps pushing it up. She is still head down, so I hope she stays that way. Continue to keep us in your prayers. We thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.

Callie's heart update

2009-05-13T17:51:00.002-04:00

Callie has a severe fear of doctors since our whole incident with the ER and the IV last November. If she even sees a building that resembles a doctors office, she starts crying and screaming. We haven't been talking about her appointment, but last night told her we were going to visit someone who was going to take pictures of her heart. She kept asking this morning where we were going, and I would repeat that phrase to her. When we got there, she freaked out again. When Callie gets nervous, she has to pee a lot. All she said the whole time was, "Mommy, I have to go potty." Even though she just went to the potty. We were there for about 30 minutes, and she went at least 4 times!! They took her vitals which were high, but she was very upset. The doctor did a heart echo, and she was upset the whole time. When he found the murmur on the echo, it was really loud. Callie has a mild case of valvular pulmonary stenosis. Basically, the valve that leads from her heart to her lungs is mildly narrowed which is causing the murmur. He said that 95% of the time the child will grow out of this. Since Callie hasn't shown any symptoms since birth, she should be fine. We are going to do a follow up echo in a year to see if it gets better or worse. Callie got her sucker when we left, and she was good to go. I am just happy that its over.

Prayers

2009-05-12T23:21:00.002-04:00

Callie is having her cardiology work up tomorrow. Mommy is really scared, but I don't think God would give me any more stress right now. I really couldn't handle anything else. I think they are going to do an echo and maybe an EKG. Please keep us in your prayers. Our appointment is at 11:30, and I will update tomorrow after we know the results.
Mady gave me a scare this morning, because she normally kicks me all night long. I woke up this morning and couldn't get her to move or kick me. I didn't wake up last night from her kicking me. I laid on my back which usually always gets a bunch of kicks but nothing. I went downstairs and drink some caffeine and started to push and prod. 3o minutes later, I was about to whip out the doppler when she finally woke up. Phil and I went to see Star Trek tonight. I was not looking forward to it, but I was really surprised about how good it was. Mady hated it though. I should have probably sat farther away from the front, because she absolutely hated all the noise. I did have one HUGE contraction during the movie. I have been having them pretty much every night, but they have been only 3 an hour for a few hours. At the movies, it took my breath away and lasted for about a minute. I just had one though. I think that my uterus was getting irritated with all the movement from Mady.
I will be 32 weeks pregnant on Friday, so the countdown is on!

Nuchal Cord

2009-05-11T19:24:00.002-04:00

I went and had a follow up with my doctor about the umbilical cord around Mady's neck that we saw on the 3D/4D ultrasound. He did an u/s that shows the cord is wrapped around her neck, but it is loose. He did a BPP (biophysical profile) which looks for 4 things: heart rate, breathing, tone, and fluid levels. She passed the test with flying colors. He said its pretty common for infants to have a nuchal cord. It is very rare for a baby to be stillborn from this. I have done some research, and this seems to be the truth. I am going to have weekly BPP's to check on Mady. If something happens that shows Mady is in distress than they will deliver her early. He said that I would have an increased chance of having a c-section. I am fine with everything. I just want a healthy baby at the end of this. I again lost 4lbs since my last visit which was only 5 days ago. I have been having headaches with vomiting again, so i think this is making me lose weight again. He said that I need to start eating more high calorie foods. He also said to try to relax and not stress so much, but it is soooo hard when I am just waiting for the "other shoe to drop." I really think this comes from the infertility that I had to go through. I just keep waiting for something bad to happen. I don't think I will chill out until I am holding a healthy screaming baby in my arms. Can everyone say some prayers for my little one? Keep both of us in your prayers.

3D/4D U/s Pics

2009-05-08T15:52:00.002-04:00

Well, we had our last 3D/4D u/s yesterday. The good news is that she is now head down. The bad news is that she has seemed to wrap her cord around her neck. It is not completely wrapped around her neck, but as you can see from some of the pics, its comes in from the front and around the back of her neck and drapes on the right side of her. The u/s tech gave me some pics to show to my doctor. My next appointment is on 5/21, but i think i might call earlier and see what they say about it. I just think they might monitor me closer to make sure it doesn't completely wrap around her neck. Mady likes to keep us on our toes! Other than that, she was beautiful! She has some hair now which we are excited about. She has such huge chubby cheeks. She is sitting VERY low. The tech kept making the comment about how low she was sitting. Her head is sitting right on top of my cervix. She better stay put until at least June 19th when I am considered full term. She definitely has Callie's nose and chin though. We can't wait to meet her! Enjoy the pics!

She is being shy here by placing her hand over her face.

You can see the cord here around her neck. She loves her cord, because at one point she had it wrapped around wrist too!

A leg and foot

She was sleeping the whole time.

Check out those cheeks!

Yawning?!? Look at the cheeks and dimples!

She is beautiful!

This pic is for Kari. No denying it here!

30 Week Doc Appointment

2009-05-06T21:51:00.002-04:00

Mady is still measuring two weeks ahead of herself. This explains why I can never catch my breath ;o) I hope she keeps this up, and we have an induction/delivery by 38 weeks. The doc thought she was head down, but when she finally found the heartbeat it was really high (like up by my ribs). She says that it probably means that the baby is breech again. We will find out tomorrow for sure at my 3D/4D u/s. I think she is back to being breech too. I really hope she goes head down, because I do NOT want a c-section. B/P was still higher than my baseline at 124/74. They don't worry unless it gets to be 130/90. No protein in urine. No weight gain or loss. She was fine with no weight gain since Mady is obviously growing fine =o) That was about it. Next appointment is on May 21st. I will update tomorrow with pics from the u/s.

Pics as promised!

2009-05-03T23:58:00.002-04:00

Here are the pics I promised. I need to take some pics of me now since my husband says I look a lot bigger now than these pics. The 3D/4D u/s was moved from Tuesday till Thursday at 3pm, so I will post those pics when I get back from the u/s. Enjoy the pics!!!

24 Weeks

24 weeks

Thunder over Louisville

on Daddy's Shoulders

Thunder over Louisville
On Grandpa's Shoulders

27 weeks in Gatlinburg, TN

My loving husband

Callie and Mommy in a stream in Gatlinburg, TN

Callie on snow in April on top of a mountain

27 weeks. Extremely COLD!

30 weeks!

2009-05-01T22:10:00.002-04:00

I am truly starting to feel the countdown begin! I have been obsessing the last few days about getting stuff done. I just feel like I don't have enough time, but I have at least 7 weeks until I am term. I don't know if maybe the nesting thing is setting in or what? I don't remember being like this with Callie. I feel like there is a ticking time bomb that is getting ready to go off, and I am not prepared. I went ahead and ordered the nursery set that should be here in about a week. I want your opinions on this wall saying: I am a dream come true! Then we would get her name: Madelyn Rose put underneath it. All my infertility peeps will get this. We worked so hard for her that we think its a perfect saying for her room. What do you all think? I want to order it as soon as possible but want some opinions first, so please come out of the shadows! I also went to wal-mart tonight and bought a big pack of diapers, wipes, nursing pads, and lanolin cream. I ordered on ebay a new set-up for my breast pump with larger breast shields. I feel like I am getting somewhere. All her clothes and blankets are washed and folded in her drawers. Phil's side of the family is throwing me a baby shower on May 24th, and my mom hasn't yet figured out when hers will be. I think my grandma is going to get me the stroller/car seat combo. I think its slowly starting to come together.
This week I have a doctors appointment on Friday the 8th. She wants to watch my BP and HR because they have been slowly creeping up since the sciatic nerve/back pain started. I have gone from 90/60 to 120/80 with a pulse going from 90 to 125. She thinks its pain related, but wants to monitor the baby closer.
Tuesday the 5th is my last 3d/4d u/s if they baby cooperates better this time. If she is still breech and the tech can't get better pics, they will bring me back in at 34 weeks for a free u/s. I can't tell if she is still breech or not. I thought she moved head down, but have been having the kicking sensations again in my cervix/bladder region.
Callie has an evaluation at the Pediatric Cardiologist on the 13th because her doc heard a murmur at her last check-up. They will do a heart echo on her and run some cardiac test to see if its an innocent murmur or more serious. I am not worried about it, because both me and my brother have innocent murmurs. If it was anything more serious, I think she would have shown more symptoms before now.
The only different things that I have been feeling is that I have been really short of breath lately....like all the time. Aren't I too early to be feeling this way?!? I have also been drinking a lot of fluids. I drink about 2 gallons of water a day and could probably easily put down more. What is that about? I will talk to the doc at my appointment.
I guess that's it. I will post some pics soon.

Finally, an update!! Need HELP!!

2009-04-26T23:16:00.002-04:00

I have been meaning to update this, but I have found that I am just too lazy to get around to it. There is so much that has happened so here it goes. I had to go to the hospital at 26 weeks because I was having so much lower back pain that I was in tears and thought I might be in labor. I was discharged after 6 hours with what we thought was sciatic nerve/back pain, hypoglycemia, and dehydration. After following up with my doctor, I was sent to physical therapy where it was determined that I have ruptured a disc. It seems that my L4 or L5 disc was probably herniated or bulging before I got pregnant and then when Mady was kicking (she is sitting breech-Indian style in my pelvis) she kicked my disc and probably ruptured it. I was on non-weight bearing activity which means I was practically on bed rest. There is nothing they can do about my back until after the baby is born. I basically get to deal with this pain by taking tylenol and using heat pads. I might need some type of surgery after I have Mady. They won't know for sure until I get a CT scan after Mady is born. I have been off work and in tons of pain for almost 3 weeks now. I can take pain meds, but i refuse to because of what I have seen happen to babies in the NICU when they withdrawal from pain meds. I will deal with the pain as long as I get a nice healthy baby in the end =o) My 27 week OB appointment, I lost another 6 lbs, but they thought that might be related to my being in constant pain. My blood pressure was a little elevated, but they think this is pain related too. Mady is measuring about a week and a half ahead of where I should be. She is chunky =o) I had my 28 week appointment this past monday, I had gained 2 lbs back which still leaves me at -15lbs to date. My BP was back in the normal range. I passed my gestational diabetes test with flying colors. My doc still says he thinks its sciatic nerve pain. He said i will be off work until after the baby is born. I am not supposed to stand on my feet for longer than an hour. We are still going to do a CT scan/MRI after the baby is born to look at my back. Apparently, sciatic pain in pregnancy is a progressive disease that worsens as I get bigger and the uterus starts to press on my nerve more. Makes sense, right?!? As I get closer to term, I will be practically bed-ridden. He suggested to go ahead and get stuff down now as I might not be able to later on. He said that he will probably induce me at 38/39 weeks if I am still in this much pain. I have about 3 to 4 bad days a week, and the rest of the week I can usually get out to do stuff. I think I have started the nesting phase, because I am constantly freaking out about not having stuff done. In less than 2 months, I will be term!! Aaacckkk!!! The nursery floor was finished last week. Phil painted the chocolate stripes on the wall last week. He also put Callie's old crib together, put her old dresser/changing table in the nursery, and pulled out all of Callie's old 0-3 month baby clothes that I washed/sorted and put in her dresser. I need to find a good baby saying or Bible verse that I want stenciled into the wall. I need suggestions!! I am also going to stencil her name too. The only thing that has me baffled is that I can't seem to find any of Callie's old baby blankets. Well, I will try to update with some pics later and keep this updated more. I will post pics of the nursery when we get it finished. Comment if you have any baby sayings or Bible verses that you think would be cool!!

U/S Video

2009-04-04T15:33:00.004-04:00

Video #1

Video #2

26 Weeks 3/4D U/S

2009-04-04T14:49:00.006-04:00

Baby Madelyn is so stubborn that it is ridiculous. She has to get that from her dad, because it doesn't come from me, lol. She of course was still breech. She was also sitting right on top of my bladder, and you could see this on the u/s. She was using her placenta as a pillow and had either one or both of her arms tucked up around her face. Her legs were crossed Indian-style so that you couldn't see her gender (until the very last second where we could confirm again that she is a girl). We were in the u/s for 30 minutes plus trying to get good pics, but she was so stubborn. I think the u/s tech was getting annoyed. It was hard to get clear pics of her face, because the placenta was in the way, or she had her hands in front of her face. At one point, she even put both hands and a foot right smack in front of her face. This is when we could see that she was a girl. She also kept licking the uterine wall and every time her hand/arm would brush by her face, she would open her mouth up. Maybe she is shy?!? This she would get from me! We managed a few good pics that I am going to post. I go back in again at 30 weeks for my last one. She said that if she is still breech, they will bring me back again at 34 weeks for a free session to try for better pics. I also am going to have maternity pics taken at 34 weeks too. Enjoy the pics!!

Right hand up by her face. Plus tongue sticking out.

I think she has a smirk on her face. Hand up by her face and a foot right next to her hand.

Again, hand up by her face with a smile. I think she is smiling here.

A definite smile here.

Yes, you guessed it...a hand hiding her face. I think she was mad that we woke her up.

Head resting on the placenta.

Baby Registry

2009-03-24T14:02:00.002-04:00

We have started a baby registry at Target. I have been toying with it for the last week or so. You can find it by searching by my email address: jennphilg@yahoo.com. I think it is a to do list for me so that I know what I need to buy. A lot of stuff I don't expect people to buy for us because this is our second child. However, its been over 4 years since our last baby. A lot of stuff we don't have any more because it got ruined or got way over used with Callie. Let me know if i forgot something or something isn't a good buy. I am a little rusty on this stuff. I still haven't gotten a lot of our old baby clothes out yet. I plan on doing that once we have the floor done and have some of the furniture put up. I think its silly to get out all the clothes with no where to put them. I think we are going to work on the floor this Saturday. I think we have at least 2 more days of work before its finished. Then I will probably paint the chocolate lines on the wall.
I have a rash working on my belly, and I think its from the skin stretching. My old stretch marks are starting to turn from skin color to purple again. Yuck....at least they will go back to skin color after this. I have been having daily belly rubs with the Shea butter and cocoa better to help with the itching and rash. It seems to be helping better. Its the best time of day for me when its time for a belly rub. I think Mady and I both enjoy it. LoL.
I felt better at the beginning of the day yesterday, so we decided to go to the grocery store and Puzzles Fun dome. For some reason, when we got to the grocery store all that food just did me in. I got sick all over the place. We still took Callie to puzzles after that, but i only played with her for like 30 minutes when i just went out to the car and slept while phil and callie played for a few more hours. Could be I was so tired because I only got 4 hours of sleep the previous night. Oh well.....at least Callie had fun.

Discovery

2009-03-18T16:12:00.002-04:00

Last night while watching Dancing with the Stars, we have discovered Madelyn's new favorite show. She went ballistic last night while we were watching DWTS. Every time the music started playing, she would start dancing in my belly all over the place. It looked like she was trying to crawl out of my belly. As soon as the music would stop, she would stop moving around. Mady is a VERY active baby....way more active than Callie ever was. I was setting objects on my belly last night, and she would kick it off. It's soooo cute. Phil has felt her move sooo much in the last week or so. She is finally head down again for the last 4 days or so, and now phil can feel her kick. He looks like a little kid on Christmas morning when she kicks. Last weekend, we painted the nursery the champagne pink. It is such a gorgeous pink! I love it! My mom, dad, and phil put down a little over half of the wood floor. Now all we have to do is finish the wood floor and paint the chocolate stripes and then we can start on the fun stuff, lol! I will post pics when it is finished. We are currently looking into private/Christian pre-K's classes for Callie to start in August. We aren't having much luck. Mommy doesn't want to let her little girl go. I want her to stay my baby forever...boohooo!!!

Back Away from the Cervix

2009-03-13T00:12:00.003-04:00

Madelyn oh Madelyn....please I beg of you to back away from the cervix. You are driving your mommy crazy every time you keep kicking my cervix. It is the most weirdest feeling in the world. Its like an electric bolt right up the spine. Why were at it...lets stop kicking towards mommy's butt too...this is also not a great feeling. I've got an idea! How about flipping head down again and go ahead and kick mommy's ribs and belly. This doesn't hurt as much. I know you are dying to get out and see the world, but kicking mommy's cervix isn't going to help you get out quicker. Plus your not done cooking yet. Mommy is dying to meet you too, but just not yet. June 26th sounds like a good time to meet. We will discuss this more in depth as it gets closer. Now its time to go to sleep and remember head down and feet towards the ribs is a much better position. You will have more fun this way plus daddy can feel you kick easier and this thrills him beyond belief! Good night my sweet Mady!!

Doctor's Update

2009-03-09T22:25:00.003-04:00

I had my doctors appointment today. Nice. Quick. Simple. The way I would like to keep it over the next couple of months! Blood Pressure was 100/68. Still staying low. Doc isn't concerned about it. I asked about all the white spots that I keep seeing, and he said since I had it with my daughter and they couldn't find anything wrong with me that its probably just something my body does while pregnant. It went away after I had Callie. He said the only thing that he could think of is preeclampsia, but its obviously isn't that because my blood pressure is so low. He asked when it happens, and I said usually if I am really tired or at work. He said its maybe my bodies way of telling me to slow down. Makes sense, because if i sit down they will go away. He said everything with my u/s was perfect, and they will leave my due date for July 10th. He also asked if the headaches and tiredness has gone away. I said that the headaches have decreased to maybe one or two times a week, but the tiredness is still here with the vengeance. I joked that I am still waiting for that second trimester bliss to set it. He laughed and said its a little late for that since I will start my third trimester in less than a month. I go back again on April 9th ( day before official 3rd trimester starts). Then I go again two weeks later for glucose tolerance test and another OB check. I also learned that my insurance is going to pay 100% from here on out. No co-pays anymore..wahhhoooo! I am hoping to finish painting the nursery this weekend and maybe start putting the floor down. I will post pictures of it as soon as we get stuff done.

22 weeks

2009-03-05T22:41:00.003-05:00

Well tomorrow I will be 22 weeks. I remember when I was pregnant with Callie that I was counting down the days that I would reach 24 weeks or viability with her. Now that I know what the outcome on 24 weekers are, I don't think I am looking forward to that stage of pregnancy. I think I will take 28 weeks as a good viability date. However, I am shooting for 38 weeks which is June 26th ;o) I don't want a July baby! Heat, pregnancy, and me don't mix. If you think I am mean now, you just wait till we hit the 90's!! Anyways, I was supposed to have an OB appointment today but it got cancelled because of some training thing. I am rescheduled for the 9th. We are now about 95% sure that we are going to use Madelyn Rose as the name. Its starting to grow on me, and now Callie calls her Madelyn. It is sooooo cute! If you ask her what her baby sisters name is....she says Madelyn and points to my tummy. I absolutely love it! Phil was messing with her and kept calling my tummy Madison, and she got sooooo mad! We couldn't change it, because I think that would confuse her! Mady does some wacky flips in my belly and boy she can kick! Callie was such an easy going baby in my belly, but was a horrible sleeper/fussy baby after she was born. I am hoping that since Mady is such a crazy baby in my belly that she will be an easier baby when she is born. I can dream can't I ?!? My parents are supposed to come over on Sunday to paint the nursery the pink. I have decided that I think I might want to get a new crib in a darker wood since we are doing the nursery in the pink and chocolate. I don't think the light oak color would look right. Now, I just have to find the money to buy one. I am going to be checking out Babies R Us for some bedding. I can't wait till we get stuff moving. I want the rest of this pregnancy to fly by ;o)
I want to give shout outs to all my friends who are pregnant now that have been trying for years!!! Erin, Nickie, and Elizabeth!!! Congrats! I am so excited for you guys! Come on Grace! Its now time for you to join us! Mady and I are rooting for you!!

Update on Nursery

2009-03-02T22:05:00.003-05:00

We didn't get to lay down the hardwood floor in Mady's room this weekend. Callie and my daddy got to pull up the carpet. Phil and my dad also went ahead and painted the primer coat in the room. I picked out a gorgeous champagne pink and chocolate paint. I am hoping to get the room painted this weekend with the wood floor going in the weekend after that. I am going to do the nursery in pink and chocolate. The room will be pink with either one or two walls with chocolate stripes. I love all the pink and chocolate nursery bedding that I have seen. Now i just need to find one that I really like that isn't $1000. Any ideas???

I was soooo tired last night at work that I didn't think I was going to be able to stay awake. I came home and went straight to bed. I slept for 12 hours straight. The weird thing is I woke up in the same position that I went to bed in. I toss and turn a lot when I sleep. I didn't even get up to pee which i usually do like every 3 hours. Plus Mady didn't even wake me up with her kicking. Strange, huh?!? I guess I needed the sleep. I haven't been sleeping well lately.

My friend Erin over at Hoping for a Peanut (check out my blog list on the right) needs prayers. Her beta numbers didn't double. Keep her in your prayers.

Meet Madelyn Rose

2009-02-27T15:35:00.004-05:00

The reason I haven't posted the last ultrasound pics is because they weren't too good. I also started to wonder if we were really having a girl, because the more people I showed the pics too said it looked like a boy. After a week of worrying over it, I called the local 3d/4d u/s place and asked about what i could do. They have a special going on where I could pay for 2 u/s and get one for free. I was planning on doing 2 anyways. We went on Thursday night and had it done. We didn't tell the the u/s tech what we thought we were having, but at least miss Mady decided to cooperate with us this time. She was legs wide open with a clear view. She is definitely a she =o) There is a pic of it down below. Just double click it and it will blow up so that you can see the three white lines. The u/s tech said she is 99.9% that its a girl, and we could also tell that it was a girl. We are finally happy that this is behind us and are done worrying about it. Mady was jumping around everywhere and waving her hands. She kept kicking everything. She was head down this time, and she kept playing with her cord. The tech said that I have a big beautiful anterior placenta and a big cord with plenty of fluid. She suggested we come back at 25 weeks for our next u/s so that Mady has enough time to fatten up for some good pics. I finally am excited about this pregnancy and feel like everything might be ok now. I have been so apprehensive lately about bad things happening, but I am starting to chill out a little. We are about 75% sure that we are going to name her Madelyn Rose. This is what we are calling her now, so that we can see if we like it. We are starting on the nursery tomorrow. We are pulling up the carpet and are going to lay down hard wood floor. Well, my husband and my dad are going to do it, lol! I went and put a bunch of pink stuff on layaway. I want to do the nursery in pink and chocolate. Enjoy our pics from the u/s.

She is facing the camera head on with both of her hands tucked up by her face. Look at how skinny her legs are!!

This is a picture of her back. She again has one arm up around her face. Now her arms look skinny and her legs are plumper. You can also see her ribs.

Her face shot with arm up at her cheeks. Look at that nose! Plus look at her chubby cheeks!

She is looking right at the camera, and I think she is smiling at us. Again one hand up by her cheek waving at us.

This shot is for Kari! It is definitely a girl!!!! Clear shot with nothing to hide and 3 white lines!

It's A........

2009-02-17T22:04:00.003-05:00

Wow, has it been a long day. I have only had about 4 hours of sleep in the last 24 hours, and i am EXHAUSTED!! I wasn't able to sleep last night, because i was so worried about the ultrasound today. I drank my 16 ounces of orange juice just like I did with Callie, but I wasn't able to eat the reese's peanut butter cup because I was feeling major nauseousness. The sugar from the orange juice and the candy was supposed to make the baby hyper. It worked with Callie, but didn't work this time. The baby was being soooooo stubborn. It was curled into a little ball facing my spine with its LEGS crossed! Can you believe it?!? The baby didn't move an inch throughout the whole thing. The ultrasound woman kept saying that it was being stubborn and not cooperating. I was dying. I was like PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be able to tell me the sex. The tech went through all the parts and everything was PERFECT. The baby measured right on time and weighing in at 10 ounces. She said she would try one more time to see the sex. I have never seen a baby cross their legs so tightly. She pushed the probe down harder and finally the baby uncrossed the legs partly and crossed them at the ankles, and we saw the gender. I knew right away what it was. I cried tears of joy as all the emotions of the 16 months it took us to get pregnant came crashing upon me. All the pain from being told that I would never carry another baby. All the shots, blood work, ultrasounds, tests, and doctors....all the tears shed over the negative pregnancy test.....all the failure and the what ifs that occurred with us...All the emotions came crashing down on me at once, and i cried tears of relief and joy. After all that pain, God has blessed us with a HEALTHY baby and a little GIRL!!! I would have done it all over in a second to hear those words again. It really has been a roller coaster for us. There were times I didn't think it was going to happen to us. Hang in there my fellow infertility girls! There is a light at the end of the the tunnel. I will post the ultrasound pictures tomorrow. They aren't very good, because she was being really stubborn. We are going to have one of those 3d/4d ultrasounds in a few weeks, so we will have really good pics then. I am off to bed now to finally get some sleep with no more worries to keep me up.

God, give me strength!

2009-02-14T21:24:00.002-05:00

The severe nausea and throwing up is back with a vengeance. God, help me get through this!!!

Countdown to BIG ultrasound

2009-02-08T01:29:00.003-05:00

Like I said my big ultrasound is 2/17 at 9:30am. I am so anxious about it. I think I will start to feel better about this pregnancy once I know everything looks good and I can start calling this little baby by a name. I am calling for all lurkers to come out and vote as to what gender you think I am having. I really would LOVE another girl, but I kinda have a gut instinct that this is a boy. I had a gut instinct with Callie that she was a boy, so don't let my gut instinct sway your vote. The Chinese calendar said boy with Callie and it was wrong. It said boy this time too, so i am hoping its wrong too, lol! Callie's heart rate was always 150's to 160's. This baby started out at 170 and has been staying in the 150's range. I have been having dreams about the ultrasound for both genders. Its only 9 days away. The agony is torture!
We did our taxes tonight, and we are getting back $4, 545. I was so excited. We were hoping for $3,000 but wishing for $4,000. The only thing that helped us get back that much was interest that we paid on our home (13,000) , taxes on our home (2,000), and student loan interest (700). We now have enough money to put $2,000 in savings for when I will be on maternity leave. $1,000 to pay to catch up on bills. $1,500 for our trip to Myrtle Beach in April.
I'm off to finish the last few episodes of Season 3 of Lost.

17 weeks and 3 days MIA

2009-02-02T20:23:00.003-05:00

I have been missing in action on here and my yahoo groups too. The last week has been hell for me, and i am trying to rise above it. It all started last week when we got about 6-8 inches of snow and about 2 inches of ice total. A tree fell on my house and then fell on the ground. We lost power the next day. My mom came to get us to take us to her house. On the way to her house, we were in a car accident. Callie is fine and so is phil. However, i was sitting in the front passenger seat. I knew we were going to crash, and the only thing i could think of was placental abruptions with car accidents. I figured that if i put out my arms on the dashboard I could take the force of the crash in my chest instead of my abdomen with baby inside. I braced myself and we hit. My mom put in some pretty good damage to the front end of her car. They called an ambulance, and the paramedic said that the baby would be fine. If I had any bleeding or cramping that I should go to the ER. I did sprain my right wrist though which she had to wrap up for me. Silly me! I haven't had any cramping or bleeding and the heart beat has been fine. We had to stay at my moms house for 3 days until our power came back on. We are back home now after our crazy week! I have over 600 emails that i have to read through. Ouch
I had my OB appointment today. Blood pressure was 90/70. Ouch! I never have low blood pressure. I am usually a 120/80 girl. The last blood pressure at the OB was 108/68 and that was low for me. The doc wasn't concerned as long as it doesn't rise. I wonder what low blood pressure and pregnancy mean? I never had low blood pressure with callie. I asked about travelling at 28 weeks, and he said it was fine as long as I wasn't having any trouble. Since I had no trouble (pre-term labor) with Callie, he doesn't for see this as a problem with me. He also told me to take Excedrin for my headaches. They took some blood for the AFP test, and I made my appointment for my u/s for 2/17/09 at 9:30 am. Kids aren't allowed, so i don't know what I am going to do with Callie. I'm kinda nervous about this u/s. I want to make sure that this baby has all right organs in all the right places with no heart defects. I will find out the sex too. Callie still says I am having one boy and one girl no matter how many times you explain it to her that i am only having one baby. Lately, she has been wanting to rub my belly and talk to the baby and kiss my belly. Its so heartwarming! This baby has been very active lately and it feels like this baby is in a boxing ring with my internal organs. I think the baby is winning too, lol! S/he is very picking on how I sleep too. S/he will kick the crap out of me until I move in to a position that s/he likes. The baby is much more active than Callie was, and I think once the baby grows bigger my poor abdomen is going to take a beating. I can't wait till Callie will be able to feel the baby move on the outside. I am highly curious to see what she thinks about it. We are all looking forward to the big announcement.

15 weeks

2009-01-19T02:08:00.002-05:00

Sometimes, it seems the weeks are flying by, but sometimes, it seems I am at a standstill with this pregnancy. My next OB appointment isn't until February 2nd, so about 2 more weeks. I have started to feel the baby "tapping"...at least thats what i am calling it. It feels like someone is tapping me from the inside out..weird. Definitely, not how it first started out with my daughter. I felt her first move at 17 weeks, but I hear that you can feel them move sooner the second time around. It only happens once or twice every other day or so. It always seems to happen when Phil and I are fighting. We never fight unless I am pregnant, and then we fight all the time, lol! Its called hormones. I tend to get easily upset over the smallest things and this tends to lead to an argument....like when he forgets to flush his poop down the toilet. I mean who wants to go throw up in a toilet when there is poop in there. This only makes my throwing up worse! Or when he always loads the dishwasher up and forgets to start it...drives me mad! Or uses the washer/dryer for storage. Drives me up the wall!! We fight over the stupidest stuff, but its always the same stuff. I think the baby is "tapping" me because s/he agrees with me =o) I am still sick as a dog though! I have about one day a week that i feel good, and the other days, I feel horrible. I guess it will be another 13 weeks or so of sickness if this pregnancy is like Callie's. I am still way tired too. I am waiting for this second trimester bliss to kick in though. I can't wait till we find out the sex, so i can start the planning phase. Work has been better. I worked in the "feeder and grower" section for a week, and this made me feel a lot better! I really think its all these hormones, because I usually am not that upset with deaths. I have another "peanut" tonight and I was nervous at first, but am comfortable now. Will try to stay more upbeat on here from now on ;o)
By the way Wicked was AWESOME. If it ever comes your way, you have to see it. Now if only I could talk my sister into taking me with her to see it!
I am also hooked on Lost. I have been watching the seasons on DVD, and I am now on Season 2 episode 9. I can't get them fast enough from Netflix. I am trying to catch up to start watching the new season.

Death Is Everywhere

2009-01-10T22:15:00.003-05:00

This is going to be a long post of nothing but rambling that will probably not make sense, but i need to get it off of my chest. For the last 3 weeks, i have taken care of babies that have dies within hours of me leaving work. Two out of the three, i knew were going to die after i left and one was a complete surprise. I have worked in the NICU for 18 months now and this last month has been the only time i have been so close to death, but not once...THREE times. I am human and I can only take so much death at once. I think being pregnant makes it so much harder because i am soooo more emotional now than i usually am. I have no one to talk to that understand this. The only person that would understand this enough to talk with is off of work for now. My husband doesn't understand what I have to go through at work, and the only thing my mom says to me is that i need not to be so emotional about it or i am going to lose my job. HELLO, i am a human here with emotions plus tons of hormones. The only thing my dad says,"Is there something wrong with the care that you are giving that is causing these deaths?!? Yeah, can we say knife through the heart! :::insert sarcastic voice::: I'm such a careless nurse that i am allowing these innocent sweet children to die for no reason. See this is why I have so much stress in my life. I don't have any support. No one seems to understand how hard it is to be a nurse. They don't know what to say to me, and when they try to "support" me, all it does is hurt me more. Its so hard to spend so many hours doing everything in your power to keep this child alive, and in the end knowing that i can't do anything to prevent the death. I had to take care of an infant who is the smallest infant i have ever taken care of. This infant was from a multiple birth and the other siblings were being taken off life support that day at a different hospital. It was a sad story all around. The baby had a lacerated liver which i have my suspicions about. The infant was bleeding internally and really fast. I have never pumped such a little baby with so much blood products. The quicker i pumped the blood products, the quicker the abdomen would turn black. I have never seen such a thing before. We ended up coding this baby for about 4 hours before we finally stabilized it. There were so many people there pulling up drugs and pushing them in any port we could find open. During this time, i get a phone call from micro saying that the blood culture i had done the night before came back positive, and i just felt like laughing at her. At this point in time, this was the last thing that mattered. We couldn't ventilate this baby because of the abdomen being full of blood and now this blood that was leaking from her liver into her abdomen was infected. Now i am adding antibiotics into all the mess that we are pumping into her. I probably transfused more blood products that night then i have total from 18 months in the NICU. We stabilized the infant finally and peds surgery shows up and says that the baby will be fine as long as there is no brain bleeds. The parents have hope. I give report and the baby goes from a 1:1 to a 2:1 patient. I had to stay over for about 4 hours to chart, and it that time the baby has an u/s that shows a bilateral grade 4 brain bleed. The docs were going to sit down with the baby's parents and talk about talking the baby off of life support. I could hear the mom wailing, and then i lost it along with some other people. Sometimes you feel like no matter what you do, you are fighting a losing battle. On the brighter side, Dr. T (an attending) came up to me and congratulated me on how well i performed under the stress. She said that she wished that there were more nurses who could remain calm and perform under the stress of an impending death. I was surprised by her comments, because i thought i was failing at the whole thing. I told my charge RN that i needed a break from all this death, because it was really starting to beat me down. I just have to keep in mind that i am human and I can only do so much. The rest is in God's hands.

******** Information was changed in this post to abide by HIPAA*********

First OB appointment

2009-01-10T22:07:00.003-05:00

I had my first OB appointment on Tuesday at 13 weeks 4 days, lol! It was with Dr. Brown who makes up a practice of 2 OB's. Isn't that funny! I never have been to a practice with only two OB's, but its a really small practice that delivers at the best local hospital. They don't have a NICU, but i want my baby transferred to my NICU if something happens anyways. We talked about my weight loss (25lbs) and my being so sick. He gave me some more zofran. He is fine with the weight loss as long as i start to gain it back in the last trimester. I did this same thing with my pregnancy with Callie, so i am not worried. He wanted me start a new prenatal vitamin that has a two pills which one is omega fatty acids. He did the doppler and found the heart beat easily which is strong at 160-170bpm....still has a fast (girl) heart rate. He said that I am measuring a little bigger but he wasn't concerned with this. He said since its my second pregnancy that i will grow a lot faster than I did with my first one. I think I need to post a pic of my bump.... I go back on February 2nd for my next appointment. Then I go back around Valentines day for my u/s. I still am thinking girl....we'll see. I had a bunch of blood drawn, and the lab lady was rude! I made my next appointment with him again. I think I might like him =o)

My little one...Callie Elizabeth

2009-01-05T01:13:00.004-05:00

As i write this post, the most precious gift ever given to me is asleep in her little princess bed. She is now 4 years old. I remember the day like it was yesterday when i had her. The horrendous pain that i had to go through for 16 hours of labor to bring the most beautiful little 7lbs and 7 ounces girl into this world at 8:15am on Wednesday, January 5th, 2005. I remember the way she looked at me the first time that are eyes met. I remember the way she would always grab my pinkie finger. How she always quieted down when I held her. I remember the first few months and how hard they were when we were trying to adjust to bringing home a newborn. The horrible reflux and all the clothes that you would go through in one day. You were such a wonderful little baby. I watched you grow up before my eyes. You grew so fast that it didn't seem fair. You were always there for me when I was having a hard time at school or having a heard time with the infertility. You always gave me a hug or a kiss if i was feeling down. I don't think I could have done this infertility journey without your sweet smiling face by my side. I was so proud to finally be able to give you a sibling. I can't wait to see what a great big sister that you are going to be when your little sibling gets here. You will be such a good helper for mommy. You are mommy's little angel, and please excuse all the tears that will flow today, because I am blaming them on pregnancy hormones even though i know i would be crying the same amount of tears if i wasn't pregnant. I will always love you my little angel.
P.s.- Stop growing up so fast :'o)

Shy One

2009-01-02T13:09:00.002-05:00

I finally, after a little over a week, I got the little ones heart beat on my doppler again. I am going to figure out how to record it and put it on here. S/he is such a shy one. I can only find it about 1 out of 4 tries. It seems to work better with a full bladder. It took about 15 minutes of locating it, and I finally got it and s/he stayed still for about 10 seconds and then moved on me!! It would then take me another 10 minutes to find the baby again, and s/he would be still for like 30 seconds and take off again. The baby can't have that much space to move around to avoid my doppler, lol. I think this baby is taking after me by being shy and quiet. I never had trouble finding Callie's heart beat. You could also hear the baby kick the doppler probe as I was pushing on my stomach to find the baby. Its so cute.
My first OB appointment is on Tuesday. I wonder if the doc will have a hard time finding the heart beat. If he does, I am demanding an ultrasound ;o)
Callie's birthday is on Monday. She will be 4. I don't want to think about it, because all I do is cry when I have to think about it. Its silly, but I am so sad that she is growing up so fast. She isn't my baby anymore. We are having a close family dinner and then I am having a party for her some time late January or February.
Off to Goulds to see if I can find some maternity scrub pants or scrubs with elastic. The tie ones are making my belly hurt.

What a way to start off the new year!

2009-01-01T21:45:00.002-05:00

I seriously have to stop working the holidays. Even though I am forced to do it. Christmas eve night i worked, and the baby i was taking care of passed away about 6 hours later. New Years eve I am working, and the baby I was helping take care of was on his way to Heaven too as I was leaving this morning. I am telling you that death, hormones, and pregnancy don't go well together. I was crying off and on all night last night. I hardly am ever involved in deaths at work, but two within in weeks of each other. I can't keep taking it like this! Its so much harder to understand death when they are just babies! Anyways, as you can imagine work was INSANE last night. In all the craziness, I had accidentally pulled out the wrong concentration of versed from the pyxis. I tried to return the vial, but it wouldn't let me because its a multi-use drug. Well, i tried to give it to D (the main nurse for the baby). She wanted me to hold onto it so that i could give it to the charge RN. I told her multiple times that i was not comfortable holding on to it. I said let me put it in his drawer, but she was scared that someone might accidentally give the wrong vial of medicine. I then wanted to put the vial in the sharps container, but she didn't want me to do that either. She said put it in your pocket and I won't let you forget to give it to the charge RN. Then the crap started to hit the fan, and i stuffed it in my pocket. About 6 hours later, I came home crashed into bed. I woke up about 9 hrs later and checked my phone and there was a message from work. Hmmm what is work calling me for. I listen to the message and its my charge RN asking about the drug. CRAP, i thought. I went to the counter where i always clean out my pockets before I go to bed. It wasn't there. I ran upstairs practically ripping up my top trying to find this vial. I finally found it. I called my ANM and told her what happened. She assured me that I wasn't in trouble and to just bring it with me to work. I am off for three days, and no way was I holding on to it that long. I told her I would bring it to her tomorrow afternoon. I feel like I am holding stolen cash in my pocket. I feel horrible. At least I won't be getting in trouble. I would have fought it till the end though!! I hope I can sleep tonight.

On others news, I had a whole week of being nausea free and then BAM it hit me like a bomb these last two days. I have been the sickest of this whole pregnancy and even the zofran isn't helping. Aaaccckkk! I am such a wuss when it comes to feeling nauseous and puking. I think its the way this little one tells me that s/he is fine. I thought the second trimester was supposed to be better than the first. Its not starting out that way, lol! My husband and I are supposed to be going out to my favorite restaurant tomorrow for a late b-day gift, but I don't know if i can stomach it. We'll see.

Seriously?!?

2009-01-01T02:24:00.002-05:00

Twice in one day. Are you kidding me? I thought i was getting over this! At least can I hit the toilet before it has to hit me.

I was taking my shower to get ready for work. Everything was going great until i went to brush my teeth. For the last few weeks, I have been gagging when i brush my teeth. I never would throw up though. Today wasn't the same. Start to brush teeth....gagging...ok i'm fine...gagging...uh oh...no warning. Throw up my lunch that i had just eaten all over the shower and bathroom floor. Hey, at least i tried to hit the toilet. I then had to take another shower after my husband cleaned out the shower. I made it to work with not a minute to spare. I threw up on myself twice in one day!!!! Can't I hit something else next time besides my clothes. New years resolution....better aim.

I get to see an OB on 1/6. I couldn't get fit into Dr. Walkers office. The other doc everyone was talking about was Dr. Basham. She delivers at the best L&D hospital here. I am meeting with her partner Dr. Brown on the 6th and will see her the rest of the pregnancy. I am hoping to schedule my big u/s the end of the month or beginning of february. I am just happy to see someone at this point!!

I bet I can make you smile...

2008-12-31T07:41:00.004-05:00

I am going to bring a smile to your face today, but if you have a weak stomach please do not read on.

I am sitting in my car on the way home from work when very suddenly and quickly I sneeze three times in a row. So forceful are these sneezes that I throw up all over myself while going 70 mph down the freeway. You think thats bad...so forceful are those sneezes that not only do i throw up on myself but i also pee my pants. Yes, that rights folks. If you didn't think it could be done..it can. I threw up on myself and peed myself within in seconds of each other. Oh the joys of being pregnant! The worse of it all....I still had 15 minutes before i reached home.

Why does this bring a smile to your face?!? Because A) It didn't happen to you B) If i can laugh at it, so can you. and C) Your day can't be too bad compared to mine so far..now could it?!?

Birthday Blues....

2008-12-24T22:35:00.002-05:00

Wow...less than 2 hours left of my birthday. I had a whopping two people wish me a Happy Birthday...my mother in law and my grandma. Sad, huh?!? No Happy Birthday from my mother, father, sister, or brother. Feeling the love yet?!?! A phone call or voice mail only takes a whopping minute to make...
On the other hand, I did get a pretty card from my husband. Callie drew the funniest picture on it. I am going to scan it onto the computer and post it. She drew me with a round belly and then right next to me she drew a little ball. I asked her what she drew, and she said, "Here is your belly and its big because there is a baby in it...and here is what the baby looks like." She pointed to the little ball that she drew. I guess that is what she gets from the u/s pics...LoL. I am dreading tomorrow. Might spend most of the day locked up in my room with my daughter. We'll see.....

Bad Pregnancy Luck Continues.....

2008-12-24T22:28:00.002-05:00

Like I said before, when i am pregnant bad stuff seems to follow me. I just found out last night that one of the most influential person of my school year life passed away on monday. He was kind of like a second father figure to me when I was having trouble with my life (which was a lot). He has been in the back of my mind for awhile now. I think if I have a boy this time that I will use Paul as a middle name. I have a tendency to use sentimental names when naming my children. I have to think of a good first name that sounds good with Paul as a middle name. I hope the funeral isn't till sunday, because it is my weekend to work.

Rest in Peace: Paul Hicks

You were a great teacher and mentor to me and a lot of other kids! You will be missed!!!

A Spiral

2008-12-20T22:12:00.002-05:00

Do you ever feel like your life is spiraling down and down and down and there is nothing you can do to stop it?!?

Or...do you ever feel like life keeps throwing stones at you and each one breaks off a little piece of you until there is nothing left to break?!?

I don't think I can take much more stress in my life right now before I just crumble into nothing but dust.

Bad Pregnancy Luck

2008-12-19T22:18:00.002-05:00

I don't know what it is has to do with me being pregnant, but it seems that bad stuff starts to happen as soon as i wind up pregnant. With Callie's pregnancy, my grandfather passed away when i was about 4-5 months pregnant. Then 2 weeks before my due date, my grandma has to have surgery to put her bladder back where it was supposed to go. It was kind of coming out of her vajayjay (get my drift?!?) Then we have almost 4 years where nothing bad happens to the family. Now I am pregnant again and not even out of the first trimester, and we have had two serious things happen already. Can it get worse?!? My mom has been diagnosed with sleep apnea and possibly has thyroid cancer. She had a biopsy done but it said that it was consistent with follicular neoplasm but couldn't rule it out. She has to have a thyroid lobectomy on Jan. 15th possible total lobectomy. We won't know for sure if she has cancer until the day of the surgery or about a week later when pathology gets done with it. Then yesterday my grandma (who watches callie while i am at work) fell "up" the stairs and broke her wrist. She had surgery this morning to put a steel plate in her wrist. We are hoping she gets to come home tomorrow. It seems to be a never ending battle with us. I could use some stress free days here people!!!

On another note....Callie was in deep though tonight and my mom asked her to eat her dinner, and she replies, " Grandma, I am trying to concentrate here. Give me a minute." It was so funny, because she had such a serious look on her face.

I have read most of the twilight series now. Yes, it is addictive!! I have read the first three books in the last week and will start the last one tonight. I think i am in love with Edward =o)

Pregnancy wise, i am in the last week of the first trimester. I will be so glad to start the second trimester in a week! It seems to be going by fast. I am now down 20lbs so far. I have been trying to make an appointment with Dr. Walker. Her office manager has to make the appointment, and we keep playing phone tag. I finally got a hold of her today, and she said she couldn't get me in until end of January. I was like I will be 17 weeks by then. I want to see a doc now. I have to call their new office on Dixie on Monday. I am starting to get a little pooch, but i think its just bloating, lol. Nausea is easing up some. I am down to 2 Zofrans a day instead of 4. Plus i need to get a new bra. My boobs are busting out of the ones i have. What goes after DD? Hmmm I should look into that. These things can't get any bigger...can they????

Finally the pics!

2008-12-15T18:06:00.004-05:00

I finally got these pics uploaded. I have some from last week (9 weeks) and some from today (10 weeks 3 days). We had a little scare. I was having some cramping, and out of the blue i decided to take a hpt. The line was faint. I for sure thought that i was having a miscarriage. I worried all day and night last night. I called my RE and she brought me in for u/s to make sure everything looked ok. The baby was measuring 10 weeks 2 days, and i am 10 weeks 3 days. Heart rate was 173bmp. We got to hear the heart beat a couple of times. I was wondering to myself when I thought i was going to get to see him/her start to move, and as soon as i thought that s/he started kicking her legs and arms like she was swimming. It was sooo cute. I started to cry again because it was like the baby was trying to tell me that everything was fine. I am now completely calmed about my fears, and no i won't be taking anymore stupid pregnancy test. I had to leave a message to make an appointment to meet with Dr. Walker. I should know by tomorrow. Enjoy the pics!!

10 weeks 3 Days (heart rate 173)

10 weeks 3 days

Baby waving at you with the two legs at the bottom. The other hand is tucked behind the face so you can't see it very well. You can't tell very well here, but in the actual pic you can count 5 toes on each foot. Isn't this amazing??

9 weeks 3D pic. You can see the eyes that are fused and the mouth...looks like s/he is frowning at you. One hand tucked up by the face. Head is kinda tilted towards the left, but looking straight at you. Can you see it??

9 weeks

9 Weeks

9 Weeks and 5 days

2008-12-11T04:24:00.003-05:00

I know I have been a slacker on this blog since the pg announcement. I have a lot of people suffering with IF that read this blog, and i feel bad about writing about my pg symptoms. I know that in a way they are happy for me, and I will try to be better about it. We had our 9 week u/s last friday, and it went really good. I will post those u/s pics this weekend. I got to hear the heart beat through the doppler which was great! The baby was curled up in a ball at the top of the sac. We got to see a 3D picture of the baby, and you can see the slits where his eyes and mouth will form. Cool! The doc said that since everything looked good and that the chance for miscarrying is slim at this point. I also was told to stop my progesterone because we saw the umbilical cord and placenta. I am also scared about this., but she assured me that i would be fine. She went ahead a released me to see an OB. I begged her to deliver my baby, but she said that wasn't her specialty LoL. I still haven't made an appointment yet for an OB. I feel like i will jinx the pregnancy if i make that appointment. Weird, huh?!? I couldn't make up my mind about an OB. I knew I definitely did not want the one that delivered Callie. My mom suggested one, but i want an OB that will listen to me and make my birthing experience better than Callie's birth was. I asked around at work about who was the best doctor when it comes to deliveries. I kept getting the same answer. Paige Walker. I had checked into her when we first started TTC, but my insurance didn't take her. I decided tonight to check again since it had been about a year and a half since last time. I looked and guess what?!? She is covered...aaaccckkk! I am excited. I will call tomorrow to make an appointment. I am so happy. Hopefully this time around will be better. I haven't been feeling too well lately even though the Zofran is helping me tremendously with the throwing up. I still feel nauseous though. I feel sick if i don't eat anything, and i feel sick after i eat something. Not good either way. Plus, I am always sooooo tired. The tiredness hasn't let up any this pregnancy. I am having trouble sleeping. Ok...enough griping. Got to get back to work tonight. I will try to be better about this blog.

7 Weeks

2008-11-23T11:10:00.003-05:00

I know that some people already know about this, but we didn't want to post it on here until we knew for sure that everything was ok. On October 28th in the morning, I took a home pregnacy test at 9DPO because i was sooooo tired and didn't feel right. Kari said that I had to be pregnant because of the way I was feeling and acting. I took a test and their was a faint line. I proceeded to take a test every morning until I was 13DPO when I went in for a beta test. The test came back at 152 which was a nice strong number. The nurse said it could be indicative of twins. We had another beta at 17DPO and it was 629. Our last beta was 23DPO, and it was 8,079. Our RE was sure that it was going to be twins, because our numbers were high for a singleton pregnancy. We then had to wait for 3 weeks until our u/s which we had on 11/21. You can see the u/s pics at the bottom of this post. We just had one healthy little bean with a heart rate of 176bpm. We were ecstatic that we finally had a healthy little baby. It was really hard not to tell our families or post updates on here, because i am a horrible person at keeping secrets. Phil and I decided that we wanted to make sure that everything was ok before we told our families. It was really hard telling everyone about our miscarriage a few months ago. We told our families last night at a chili dinner that we had. It was pretty funny. If i can figure out how to download that video onto the computer, I will post it on here. We are so excited about this little baby. It has been a long 16 months since trying to get pregnant. At least we know what works now, and know exactly what we have to do next time. We are due July 11th, 2009. We have our next u/s on 12/5. We meet with the RE two more times with u/s, and then we are released to an OB. I have still been really tired. I was really nauseous, but my doc gave me an RX for Zofran which is a miracle drug. The only side effect is constipation which sucks, but at least I dont have to throw up 10 million times a day. We will be updating on here so keep us in your thoughts and prayers. All the support has truly meant a lot to us. God bless!

A Night from HELL!!

2008-11-21T10:26:00.002-05:00

I think i just experienced the worst 36 hours or so of my life so far. I know some people might read this, and think that I am exaggerating. To me, it was the most I was ever scared for my child in my life so far. It started Wednesday around 2pm. A seemingly fine Callie all of a sudden became overcome with nausea and vomiting. I was asleep because I had worked the night before. Phil woke me up and said that Callie had thrown up, and he wanted to know if he could give her something. I asked him if he thought it was something she ate, and he said yes. I went back to sleep thinking it was nothing. I woke up a couple of hours later and went down stairs. Phil said that she was still throwing up. I took one look at her and knew something was seriously wrong with her. I called in to work. Called my grandma to come with me. We took Phil to work early, and i picked my grandma up. We came home so that i could take a shower before we went to the doctors. Callie was still throwing up everything. I called the doctor who insisted that i go to the ER since she hadn't had a good pee since early afternoon, she wasn't crying tears, and the inside of her mouth wasn't too moist. I insisted that we come in and get looked at first, and if they still thought she needed to go to the ER we would. We have had 2 previous experiences that when our doc told us to go to the ER, the ER doctors would practically laugh in our faces for bringer her in. We took her to Pediatric Acute Care. As i was holding her, i could feel that she was burning up. When we got to be triaged, she threw up all over the floor and me as they were taking her blood pressure. Her temp was 102.4. I told you she was hot. She had this persistent barking cough. She still hadn't peed since 5pm. It was about 10pm. The doc came in and listened to her. She tested negative for strep. CBC was fine. He sent us home with phenergan suppositories and said it was probably a cold. I have never seen a child go from being completely fine to horrible sick withing 6 hours. We went home and tried the suppositories. Did not go over very well. Callie and i passed out in bed at 3am. When phil came home, I woke up and asked Callie if she needed to pee. She was dry....so no pee since 5pm and it was no 6am. Not good. She seemed a little lethargic and was kind of babbling like a baby. I threw on some clothes and grabbed my grandma off the couch and my husband and we were in the car on the way to the ER at 6:30. We were triaged within minutes. Callie's blood pressure and heart rate were through the roof. Her temp was 101. This is after getting tylenol every 4 hours for about 12 hours. Callie started to become combative. She kicked the nurse. I was starting to see my little sweet girl transformed into this sick child. She was kicking and screaming at the nurse. They put us into a room where we had to tell the nurse, then the resident, and then the attending the whole story over and over. Callie was laying on the bed as pale as the sheets. She was very lethargic. Any time a doctor wanted to touch her, she would kick them and start screaming. I had to hold her down so that the doctors could examine her. The doctor asked me if this is what she normally acts like, and I was like noooooooo. Callie is normally the sweetest child. They put an IV and i was so scared that she was going to cry. They used this lidocaine that is pressurized that makes this loud popping noise. Right before they stick her, she looks rights in my eyes and says with tears in her eyes, " Mommy, i just want to tell you that i really really love you." Yeah the tears really started coming then. They started a bag of IV fluids. They ran a cbc and renal. They did a chest x-ray that showed lines in her lungs which could be a virus. They said all her labs showed that she was moderately dehydrated. She got 700ml a fluids and finally peed for us. It had been 16 hours. The urinalysis just showed that she had high ketones which is a sign of dehydration. They gave us an antibiotic, zofran, and told us to keep an eye on her urine and temp. We came home and i tried to get her doctor to call in a prescription for cough medicine. She said she wouldn't write a prescription without seeing her. So we went to her doctors office. She basically did nothing for us and was a waste of time and money. We came home, and we all crashed and slept from 5pm till 10pm. When we woke up, i took Callie's temp and it was 102.7 with the tylenol. I called the doctor because she hadn't peed in 8 hours. As i was talking to him, she peed on the toilet. He said that there was nothing we could do for the temp. We continued to give her her medicine, and we went back to sleep. I didn't get much sleep, because i was constantly watching her to make sure she was breathing and giving her medicine on time. She woke up this morning and was acting like my little girl all over again. She is still coughing, but she hasn't thrown up. She is drinking a little fluids here and there, and she is peeing. My little girl knows how to scare the crap out of me! I do not want to repeat this again for a long time!!!

Trying to hang in there:

Trying not to cough up a lung:

Attempting to smile with her vomit bucket:

Got it this time:

Showing off her cool pink tape on her IV:

I know....I know....

2008-11-15T07:51:00.007-05:00

Did you think I got lost or perhaps fell off the earth?!? We have been crazy busy here. No excuse. I started working a different shift this week (11pm-7Am) and that has been a really stressfull time in itself. Our acuity is up, so I am hoping and praying that everything works out with this shift. I think its going to be hard to work 4 in a row though. We are currently sink/dishwasherless at the moment. I miss the days of calling the janitor to come fix stuff. Our sink at first wouldn't drain....then when you turn on the dishwasher the water backs up into the sink and then onto the floor. My dad is going to look at it today, and I hope he can fix it. We don't really have extra money to be paying a plumber this week, and we are out of dishes. Aaacckkk! The joys of owning a house ;o) I am going to post some pictures that i said that I was going to post like two weeks ago LoL. A couple are from my iphone, Callie painting pumpkins, chocolate mice I made for a Halloween party at work, and Callie at the Veggietales show. Enjoy!!

A white mouse:

A little chocolate one:

A whole bunch of them! Can we say disgusting! I did win first place though!!

Phil in serious thought as he is carving a pumkin:

My NOT so artistic side of me:

What?!? I didn't do it!

You think she enjoyed making a mess?!?

Gorgeous!

Veggietales!!

This is the way she stayed the whole time during the show!

Beautiful!

Anonymous Comment

2008-11-04T22:49:00.002-05:00

I was wondering who left the anonymous comment on my previous post. Please email me privately at jennphilg@yahoo.com to discuss. Thanks!!!

Big News

2008-11-03T23:57:00.002-05:00

The beta was negative. Phil and I have decided to take a couple of months off. We will probably start trying again in February after we get our tax returns back. Keep checking in for updates though. I am going to post some cute photos tomorrow of callie painting a pumpkin and her trip to see the Veggietales!! So don't forget about us!!!

Beta in 6 days

2008-10-25T22:02:00.002-04:00

I was telling my husband that i haven't felt this tired since i A) was 5 weeks pregnant with Callie or B) had Mono about 2 years ago. I know it can't be Mono, because you can't that twice. It all started with the trigger shot. I for sure thought it was the OHSS, but as I did more research I figured that it couldn't be related to that. Then I thought maybe I was coming down with bronchitis because i was tired, low grade fever off and on, and a little bit of coughing. Now I think i am just tired. NO MATTER how much sleep I get, I still am exhausted. I have been sleeping 8-14 hour stretches for the last week and I STILL am tired. If someone offered me $500 to sleep 6 hours tonight instead of 8 hours, I probably wouldn't take them up on it. I really had a hard time at work thursday night. I was constantly transfusing blood products to a pretty sick baby, and I thought I was going to die!! I have to work two nights in a row, and I am not looking forward to it!!!! I don't understand it. Like i said something is amiss. I told DH that if the beta is negative I am going to have her run some routine labs to see what is up. I didn't have any symptoms with Callie till 5 weeks. Phil says maybe I am feeling it sooner since their might be more than one, but it would just be implanting about now so who knows. I just didn't feel like this the last 3 months of cycles. I felt completely normal the whole 2ww. I have been feeling a little bit of twitches on both sides and some twitching in the middle plus I have been having increase in CM which is different for me too so we will see. I am actually thinking about testing at 10DPO this time since I feel so different but don't know if i will wait till friday at 12DPO.

Down in the dumps

2008-10-25T02:17:00.001-04:00

Feeling a little blue tonight....I think this picture describes me to the T.

I Would Die for that

2008-10-25T01:44:00.001-04:00

Not feeling hopeful....

4DPO

2008-10-22T23:11:00.002-04:00

I thought I should update everyone on my ordeal. As I figured, two days after ovulation I started to get better. I could actually get out of bed and walk and eat a little. I did miss two nights of work...oh well. We are now 4 days later, and I still feel really weak and still running a low grade fever, but I have been managing to keep food down which is a plus. I haven't called the doctor, because I am scared that she might not let me keep doing the injections if i keep having this OHSS. I will just deal with the pain and pray that a baby or two comes out of this ;o) I didn't start feeling this way till after I triggered, so i don't think it is anything else. The effects are just lasting longer this time which makes me wonder if any other of the eggs that were close to maturing might have caught up in time to make the trigger. I guess we will find out in a week or so. I just have never felt like this before, so something has to be up.
A Metformin update: I have now been on it for almost two weeks with only two episodes of explosive diarrhea. The last episode was last night because I was too scared to take it on an empty stomach so i waited till I ate something which turned out to be about 4 hours later. I paid for that all night last night. I am down 5lbs but that could be because of me not feeling well and not eating.
Keep praying for our miracle!

I think I had a heart attack last night!

2008-10-22T22:59:00.003-04:00

Before i start this post, I would like to dedicate it to Nickie!

I was watching a movie in the basement with my husband last night. I paused the movie because I started feeling what I so passionately call my "Met poops" coming on. I ran upstairs and opened the door to the bathroom with my butt about to explode...Grace and Nickie will completely understand this. Low and behold...there was a huge bug and it was coming straight at me. Let me just say that bugs to me are like snakes and rats to other people. I completely hate them. This thing was about the size of a peach pit and it was charging at me! I screamed a blood curdling scream and jumped on top of the toilet. Thank god the toilet lid was down!! As i was jumping on top of the toilet, I grabbed the towel rack to steady myself. The rack broke off the wall. This gigantic bug starts climbing up the toilet after me!! I am still screaming bloody murder as my heart is going a 1,000 beats a minutes and the adrenaline is pumping through my body. Remember the Fight or Flight response?!? Yeah thats me. Meanwhile, my husband runs up the stairs trying not to break his neck. He thinks I am being murdered. Of course, he tries to open the door, but its locked. I can't reach it to unlock it. Yeah, I am still screaming. He finally unlocks the door after getting the key. I jump on his back, and he carries me into the kitchen. I ran upstairs to go to the bathroom while he tries to kill it. A few minutes later, I hear a muffled "Holy crap!" and I assume he has found the bug and killed it. I don't know what kind of bug it was. I have never seen something so horrible and huge!

The moral of this story is this: Don't forget to take your metformin pill. It will have you in the bathroom all night long with God knows what creatures trying to attack you. Yes, the bug man is coming tomorrow.

Pumpkin Pickin' Pictures

2008-10-22T22:37:00.005-04:00

Here are the pumpkin pictures I promised ya'll!!!

"Mom are we done with the pictures yet???!

"I am cheesin'."
"If i keep smiling like this, my lips are going to crack!"

The aftermath of trying to pick up a pumpkin that was too heavy for her.

"Mommy is this pumpkin big enough?"

One small child...one big pumpkin patch!

The first time Callie has EVER gone into a bouncy house without screaming in terror.

Mom trying to coax callie into going down the slide while trying not to rupture enlarged ovaries!

Callie with her Nana.

Callie and a duck.

I don't feel right!

2008-10-20T02:42:00.003-04:00

I feel like I have been hit by a cement truck and left for dead! I don't know what is going on. I haven't been eating or drinking which is causing my output to go down. I am not trying to be technical but that is a sign of the OHSS. I feel really weak which could be the lack of fluids or food. Anything that I do eat feels like a brick sitting in my stomach and makes me feel worse. I am trying to sip on clear fluids. I'm feverish and so tired and weak. I had to call in to work tonight and probably will tomorrow night. I can barely get out of bed. When I called in, they asked me what was wrong so they could log it. Uuuummmm....that caught me off guard. She said is it respiratory, gastrointestinal....I just couldn't say reproductive, could I ?!? Imagine the reply I would get for that one. I told her I was running a fever with some GI side effects...which is somewhat the truth. A few months ago when i had these same side effects, I was out of commission for two days. Then I just felt sore for about a week. Tomorrow will be day two post ovulation, so I am hoping that I will start to feel better tomorrow and regain some strength. I am taking the metformin pill twice daily now, and its not fun taking it on a pretty much empty stomach. I am also taking the progesterone pill two. I am getting the nauseousness feeling from the metformin and the drunk feeling from the progesterone....bring on the party!!

Pumpkin Day and OHSS...not a good match!

2008-10-18T22:41:00.003-04:00

We took some really great pics today, but i can't find the energy to post them. We went to a local orchard today and picked pumpkins, played on bouncers, rode a hay wagon, and ate some great food. The downside is that I am in soooooo much pain!!! This is the exact pain that i felt in cycle 1 when i had the mild OHSS, but i did get the BFP that cycle. I am hoping this is a good sign. I just need the eggies to stick this time. I am watching my fluid intake and output too make sure that I am not going into some of the severe side effects. I really think that maybe I am ovulating three eggs this time since the last two cycles only had one or two eggs, and I never felt like any of this with those cycles. I feel like my ovaries are going to explode!!! Twitches are coming from both sides equally and forcefully so that is a good sign. It hurts to talk, laugh, sneeze, and insert anything in here that you feel is needed. Hang in here with me, my husband is tired of all my whining =o) My right butt cheek is also killing me from the trigger shot. You should have seen me riding the hay ride with my right butt cheek elevated so I wouldn't scream every time he hit a bump. Imagine a woman a few weeks post c-section getting off of the hay wagon and wincing in pain with every movement. Now insert my face onto hers. This is what I looked like today. I did get a few weird looks, but I had promised Callie that we would go. I will post the pics in the next few days. I am hoping that i feel better when i wake up, because I am supposed to work the next two nights. If it goes anything like my last journey with OHSS, I will be spending the next two days coiled up in bed in the fetal position trying not to breathe or pee. I'm sure over-exerting myself today didn't help any. For all my metformin followers, I have been feeling a little bit better with the phenergan. I increased my dosage to two pills a day today. I am now at 1700mg a day. I still had the diarrhea and nauseousness, but it was manageable. Keep checking back.

Trigger shot

2008-10-17T22:08:00.004-04:00

Last night I went to bed after taking my metformin with a phenergan pill. I woke up this morning for my doc appointment with no side effects. I am hoping this works. I have actually eaten today just in a lot smaller portions, and so far no side effects to report. We will see how this goes. I am supposed to double my dosage tomorrow. I went to the docs office to get my trigger shot. My doctor saw me sitting in the waiting room and pulled me into her office to discuss what happened this month, since we have been playing phone tag all month. I have two good eggs and one ok egg that might be mature enough by the time of ovulation. The biggest egg is in my left ovary, and then the other good egg and the ok egg is in my right ovary. She said that my lining was 8 and that i could take off my estrogen patch. She said that to have timed intercourse today and for the next 3 days. Start my progesterone Monday morning, and to come back on November 2nd for the beta test. She also apologized for not having any follistim samples to give me this past month, and she said hopefully (if there is a next month) she would have some for me. She gave me the go ahead to use the femara plus follistim next month. She wished me luck. I then got my trigger shot which didn't hurt. Its nice to get one from a professional. They don't hurt at all! I got home and looked at my fertility monitor. I tend to pee on the stick put it into the machine and just look at it later. It usually takes about 5 minutes to read the test. When i looked at it, it had the egg symbol on it. Uh oh....Could I have actually released an egg on my own?!?! Oopps. The egg symbol means that i am going to ovulate in the next 24-36 hrs. I have never done this on my own. The doc said that getting the trigger shot will not hurt anything even if i ovulated on my own. She said more than likely that i will ovulate the bigger egg on saturday, and then the trigger shot will make the two smaller eggs on my right ovary to release on sunday. Isn't that weird?!? Ovulating from two ovaries on two different days?!? If i get pregnant this month, the due date would be July 11th. I will probably test at 12DPO with a hpt on Halloween. This Halloween will mark 9 years since my husband and I have been together as a couple.

The last 24 hours of HELL

2008-10-16T16:04:00.003-04:00

Well, next time some one tell me to stick my foot in my mouth. Last night, I was putting Callie to bed, and she said her belly hurt. Two seconds later, she threw up all over me, herself, blankets, and the floor. Remember the post about me and throw up?!? Yeah. After cleaning her up, I put her to bed and went to be shortly later (after taking my nightly metformin). I slept fine until my husband got in bed at 6am. It woke me up, and i turned over to go back to bed. A few minutes later, i could feel all the familiar rumblings going on in my bowels. Oh crap I thought. Lets just say from 6am till 10am. I had stuff flowing out of both ends. I will try to spare you the juicy details. Oh, that was probably a bad analogy. Sorry. I had an u/s check this morning at 8:45 that i had to push back, because i was so weak that i couldn't get out of bed. I went in at 1pm for the u/s and the tech was like, "What happened to you? You look like you got hit by a bus." I am extremely pale. I am normally pale, but now you can trace all my veins all the way up to my fingertips. I had the u/s done. I have one egg on my left that is now at 20mm, and one on my right that is 16mm. My lining is now at 8mm which is perfect. I was hoping they would trigger me at the office. A needle in my husbands hands scares me. After waiting for an hour as the doctor discussed what to do, I left the office without a shot, but with a prescription for phenergan. The docs have decided that they want to give me one more day for my other egg to get mature at 18mm. They said that sperm always take one direction and with me having one egg in each ovary that no matter what direction they take they should hit at least one egg. I hope so. I have to go back into the office tomorrow at 1pm for the trigger shot. I also forgot to ask when I am supposed to take off my estrogen patch. I called the office and left a message though. I feel like crap. Its been 24 hours since I have eaten anything. All i want to do is take my phenergan and crawl into bed. I hope I get offered a budget tonight, or I am calling in to work. I bought chicken noodle soup and some sprite. I really REALLY am going to try to stick to this metformin thing, because I know it will help in the long run. I just can't stand being so sick. I will update tomorrow.

CD 12 Update

2008-10-15T19:39:00.002-04:00

My u/s showed that I had 3 eggs at almost 18mm, 15mm, and 13mm. The bad thing is that my lining decreased from 5.4mm to 4.8mm. It has to be at least an 8mm to achieve pregnancy. My RE wasn't happy with that. She was concerned that it is happening now and hasn't in previous cyclces. The only difference i did was start the metformin which shouldn't cause that. She said that my eggs are almost big enough to trigger but my lining isn't ready. I started an estrogen patch yesterday to help boost my estrogen to grow my lining. I did 100 units last night and will do 75 units in about 15 minutes. I have an u/s tomorrow morning to check everything. I know my eggs will be big enough to trigger (at least one will be) but i wonder what they do if the lining isn't ready yet. I know the eggs can get too big. I guess i will find out tomorrow. Can't anything go right in cycle?!? I am on day 6 of metformin with no side effects yet. I was sick to my stomach on sunday but nothing compared to what i was a few months ago. I had the diarrhea at day 3 of it and stopped it two days later because it was so bad. I even ate fries last night and didn't get any effects from it...hhhmmmm. I am supposed to increase to two pills a day on saturday...maybe that will trigger the effects. Will update tomorrow.

Happenings

2008-10-11T22:46:00.005-04:00

I know its been like a week since I have updated, but we have been busy since getting back from Indy. We had a blast! The Indy zoo was fun, but it was a little smaller than what we expected. It did have a dolphin show that we haven't seen anywhere else. We say the whole zoo in like 4 hours. We had tons more fun at the Children's Museum of Indy. We spent the whole day there, and we still didn't have enough time to see everything! We are going to have to go back in a few months. It was only about a 2 hour drive. The hotel was nice. We used priceline.com to book the room. We got there and had to pay $12 a day to park our car in their parking lot. Can you believe it? Then the complimentary breakfast wasn't free for priceline.com customers...which was bull! Anyways, people drive like mad people in Indy. We also got to see the Body Exhibit which was awesome!! If it ever comes near you, you have to go see it especially if your in the health care field. We are going to try to start going on more little trips like this.

We are having a family get together tomorrow to celebrate Phil's 28th b-day. I'm cooking a big dinner...yum yum!

Callie is almost 4 and growing out of everything that she owns. She was sick last night and was throwing up everywhere. I can't stand to watch/clean up throw up.....especially if it starts to get chunks in it. Lets not get started...it was so hard to clean it up. I almost lost it a couple of times. I think it was just something she ate, because she was fine later on today. She thinks tomorrow is her birthday party. LoL. She wants presents too.

I also accepted the 11pm-7am job in the NICU, so now i will get to spend more time with Callie. I think I am going to like it more than working the 3 12 hour shifts. I will be working 4 8 hour shifts now.

I went to the doctor today and had an u/s that showed i grew one egg to 12mm with the femara. I started the follistim tonight at 100 units for the next 3 nights with another u/s on tuesday morning. I hope that i have a big enough egg to trigger because after that I have no money or medicine left. I am hoping to get a donation or sample from the office to finish this cycle. Callie wants a brother or sister for christmas so we are taking monetary donations so we can buy some more follistim =o) If we don't get pregnant this month, I have to have an HSG done and Phil gets his spermies tested to make sure he is ok in that department. We need prayers for a pregnancy or that we have some money come our way. Thanks. Plus, I also started on the Metformin again. I read in that PCOS book that women with PCOS have a 3 times higher risk of miscarriage. I am on day 3, and I am starting to feel nauseous and sick...work should be fun tomorrow. I will stay on it this time and just suffer through the side effects. I am including some pics from our trip.

"Mommy can I take this dino home with me?"

"Hurry mommy, can I have a kiss-kiss?"
Childrens Museum of Indianapolis
First time riding a carousel without crying hysterically
Could she get any farther from him?!?
King of the Pack
I know how he feels......
"Mommy, are you sure the snakes can't get out?"
Awesome glass toys
"Can I take this home with me?"

The fourth times a charm?!?

2008-10-06T04:42:00.002-04:00

I am currently on CD 4 and day 2 of femara....thats right folks. I am going to take the femara this cycle with the follistim in hopes that this decreases the number of shots and amount of follistim i have to use. I used this protocol the first cycle and had the chemical pregnancy. Hopefully, this time the little bean will stick, but first we got to grow the beans. I had the hardest time these last few days trying to talk to my doctor. We kept playing phone tag. I just got a new phone a week ago, and apparently the ringer isn't as loud as the other one. It never fails that she calls me why i am sleeping and by the time i hear the phone ringing, its already gone to voicemail...argh!!! What i did get from the voicemail is that she was not pleased with my last cycle and that she never wants me to take the 50 units of follistim again. She thinks that stalled my cycle. She is supposed to call me tomorrow. I hope she doesn't think that using the femara is a step backwards, but when you are running out of money what else can you do?!? I only have 600 units of follistim left which is about one months worth. I used 900 last month. We will see how it goes. I also asked the nurse to see if i could start on the metformin extended release and to call in the ovidrel trigger shot. I will talk to the doc about that tomorrow.
I finally finished the new book A Patients Guide to PCOS, and i really think i do have it. From previous post, i didn't know if i believed that i had it. I was under the impression that you have PCOS for your whole life from birth to death. I had regular periods up until I had Callie plus i got pregnant with her so easily. There was a chapter that talked about how some women can have PCOS but kind of be in "remission" until something triggers it like weight gain, stress, or hormonal imbalances. It said that some women will trigger their PCOS after having a baby and not losing that extra baby weight. I never lost my baby weight after having Callie. The book suggested that i go on a low GI diet and use the metformin along with the follistim shots to trigger ovulation. We are going to try this and see what happens.
All the test that my mom had on her heart came back normal...thanks for all the prayers. She is meeting with a sleep doctor tomorrow to do a sleep study. I think she might have sleep apnea. I will keep you updated on this.
Also could you pray for my friend Kari and her son Jakob. Jakobs in the hospital right now, and their family needs our prayers. Thanks!
We are currently in a hotel in Indianapolis. We are going to the Indianapolis zoo today and the Children's Museum tomorrow. Callie has already been in the hot tub and the indoor pool. We will have lots of pics to post soon.
Have a good week!!

14 DPO

2008-09-28T12:42:00.002-04:00

Tested again this morning at 14DPO and another negative. I am going to the docs on tuesday morning to confirm the negative by a blood test, so we can start month 4. I am going to ask to do the femara with follistim this month since thats what worked for us in month 1. We will see what she says. Plus with the femara, i didn't have to use that much follistim which was cheaper. We shall see.

Quick Post

2008-09-26T16:56:00.001-04:00

Took a pregancy test today 12DPO, and it was a negative. Looks like we go on for another round. I can't get the blood pregnancy test until tuesday morning, because they are moving into their new office on Monday. Going out of town for the weekend. Have a great weekend!!

A VERY long 2WW

2008-09-23T23:25:00.002-04:00

It has felt like this two week wait is taking forever!!!! Last night at work, I had three feeder growers who screamed all night long. The kind of screaming that makes your head hurt. This little 4lb kid had some lungs on her. Boy was I glad to hand off my patients last night and run for the doors. The night before I got cussed out over the phone by a momma because I let grandma hold the baby for two minutes. Apparently, it wasn't passed on in report that only mommy and daddy are allowed to hold the baby. Don't even get me started on this one. In honor of the parent's wishes, my friend Kari made this BRIGHT green note taped to the bed that warned visitors to not touch the baby. Even when the parents were there with grandma, they wouldn't let her hold the baby. Plus the grandma kept asking me why I wouldn't do anything to hush up my other child that was screaming. I calmly told her that I just fed her and that she is mad that she can't eat any more per docs orders. As I was saying this, I am feeding one of my other three babies who a horrible bottle feeder. She kept asking me to stop that baby from crying. I wanted to scream at her that I only have two hands and that I have 3 babies to take care of. If the crying is bothering you, that is why we have a waiting room!!! Ugh!!! I can't wait to go work on the big side again and take care of the 1KG baby on the vent who is NPO with 2 hour vitals...thats the easy work. I like working with the preemies. I did my time in the feeder grower section and hopefully it will be another 2 months before I have to go back. Since we are talking about work here, I am keeping my fingers crossed about getting another position in the NICU. I will find out Thursday or Friday. If I can get it, I will work 4 nights a week from 11pm to 7am. This would be sooooo much better for my family. We can start doing family dinners again. When Callie starts school, I will be able to take her after I get off work and pick her up when she gets off and even have time to spend with her before I go to work plus I can put her to bed every night!!! wwwwaaahhhoooo!! Back to the two week wait...I really don't think I am pregnant this month either. At first, I did with the couple of episodes of the twitching, and then I had some mid-2WW cramping (was thinking implantation cramping). I just don't feel it. I think I am going to test Friday night with a HPT and then go in on Monday morning for a Beta test. I think I will be starting all over again on the shots again. I am thinking about asking to be started on the femara and then follistim since thats what I did the month I had the chemical pregnancy. Update on mom is that she should find something out tomorrow. Keep checking back for updates!!!

Grandma's Picnic

2008-09-20T22:48:00.003-04:00

Callie had an awesome time today!! As soon as we arrived, she went straight towards the playground to play. Do you think she wanted to eat right away? Nope, not my Callie. She played with all the kids there. You can see how much Callie needs/wants a sibling. She was following all the little kids around and was "mothering" them. Asking them what they wanted to do or if they fell down, she would make sure they were ok. She was such a good big girl. We walked along a couple of the trails that lead into the woods. Callie, mommy, daddy, grammy, Aunt Emmie, and Daniel all walked a two mile trail. Go Callie and mommy! She did a great job holding her pee pee and not having any accidents even when the bathrooms weren't working. I tried to get her to go to the bathroom in the woods, but she didn't want to peepee on any bugs...ha! We will have to do that again sometime!
On another note....Callie asked me if she could hold a baby in her belly too. She said mommy I can hold a baby for you in my belly too. She just said that out of the blue. Its amazing what kids can understand. They really do know more than we give them credit for.
Funny stories from Callie Today:
Mom: Callie, How old are you?
Callie: I'm three
Mom: Callie, how old is mommy?
Callie: Mommy is four.
Mom: Callie, how old is daddy?
Callie: Daddy is old.
Mom: Callie, how old is nanny (Callie's great grandma)?
Callie: Nanny is really really old!!

Callie was getting a bath tonight about 4 hours after we got back from the park. I went to take her clothes off and what do you think pops out of her pocket?? Any guesses??? A frog that was about the size of a chicken nugget. She had apparently picked it up in the woods and put it in her pocket and left it there for four hours!! The frog was fine, and we released it outside our house much to Callie's unhappiness. Kids are amazing!! Enjoy these pics taken today at the picnic!!

Update 6DPO

2008-09-19T19:26:00.002-04:00

I figured i would let everyone know what is going on. The last two days or so I have been feeling slight twitches both in the left side and once on the right side. My egg was on the left side. I am not letting this get my hopes up....ok just a little. I had no twitches last month and that was a BFN. The first month i had a lot of twitches and it was a BFP....so we will see. No other symptoms yet. Still a little early yet. The prometrium is still making me sooooooo dizzy!
On other news, callie is going to a picnic tomorrow at my moms work. We will have a lot of pics hopefully to post. My mom is also having some problems too. She is having chest pain. She goes in on monday morning to have some test run on her heart to see what is going on. Please keep her in your prayers. I guess i will check in later.

It worked

2008-09-13T22:05:00.002-04:00

Even though I have a bruise the size of texas, the Ovridel shot did work. I got the egg symbol on my fertility monitor this afternoon followed by a positive pregnancy test. Basically this means the HCG is in my system now to make me ovulate. I really hope i don't have the pains like i did last month. I'm kind of scared about that. I don't think it will be bad, because i only have one egg. We will see. Right now, i am just pretty tired. I will ovulate tomorrow night and start the progesterone supplement on monday morning which officially starts my two week wait. Keep the prayers coming.

Holy Crap!!!!

2008-09-13T09:52:00.002-04:00

I did the trigger shot about an hour ago. I used the ovridel shot this month, because that way i could give it to myself in my belly. I was really nervous about giving myself this shot that i watched a video on the web about how to correctly give it. I then go to stick in the needle and i had to practically SHOVE it in. It wouldn't go in, and i had to keep putting pressure on it. I finally just shoved it in, and it hurt soooo much. I pushed all the med in. Then when i went to pull the needle out, it pulled my skin with it...kind of like pinching it. I have never before seen a needle do this. It was so DULL!!! I bet I am going to have a bruise the size of Texas once this is over. I will test tomorrow to make sure the shot worked.

It's time..FINALLY!!

2008-09-12T21:28:00.002-04:00

After 13 long days of shots, one whole abdomen full of bruises and red whelps, 6 trans-vaginal ultrasounds, 4 estrogen blood level checks, numerous calls from the doctor, and a lot of worrying over whether or not my cycle would be cancelled.....its finally time to trigger. This morning I went to my appointment scared to death of what i would find out. I still have the one egg that is now 18mm....all the other ones have disappeared. My lining was 12.2, and my estrogen level was 169. My doc called me this afternoon and said that I could take an OPK too see if it was positive, and if it was i wouldn't have to trigger. I was like...hhhmmmmm....thats not going to happen. Well, there wasn't even a second line on it, lol!! I took my last 75 units of follistim tonight to give my little eggie one more day to grow to at least 20mm. I take my trigger shot at 9am saturday morning and will ovulate around 9pm sunday night. She instructed me to BD at 3pm on Sunday and the following two days. I am going to use the ovridel this month, so that i can give myself the shot into my belly. I will let you know how that goes. I tried to save my right side for that shot since its the side with the less amount of bruises. I gave myself the follistim on the left side, and i tried to avoid all the bruises without going to far away from my belly button. Well, it didn't work. It hurt like crap! I go in on September 28th for a blood test. If we get pregnant this month, due date will be June 5th. Our 6th wedding anniversary is June 7th. It kind of stinks that we only have one egg this time, but hey it only takes one, right?!? I will keep everyone updated. I am just sooo happy that i am done with the shots and ultrasounds!!

9/11

2008-09-11T23:27:00.002-04:00

9/11/01

In memory of all the heroes that lost their lives on that tragic day:

Update

2008-09-11T22:38:00.000-04:00

Sorry that it has taken me this long to post, but i had to work. I went to the RE wednesday morning, and the u/s tech said that she had a really hard time seeing my ovaries this time around. We definitely saw one on the left that measured 17mm. The other ones she couldn't really measure. I did have 2 on the left and 3 on the right on monday morning...now i just have one...so who knows. I didn't get to talk to my nurse/doc because they called while i was asleep, and i didn't hear the phone ring. I go back on friday morning. I stayed on the 75 units of follistim last night and tonight.

I think my hormones are getting to me.....

2008-09-09T03:47:00.002-04:00

I have a lot going through my mind lately. I will try to write this without babbling on, but i can not guarantee it. My mom had my daughter over the weekend, because it was my weekend to work at the hospital. I missed her so much. I found myself counting my blessings about how lucky we are to have Callie. I think God gave her to us as easily as He did, because i think it would be harder to be going through this infertility right now without callie. People used to tell me all the time that we should be thankful that we at least have Callie. I couldn't understand how someone could say something so mean to us. I love my daughter dearly and more than life itself. But it would hurt when people made this comment. Phil and I have always discussed having a big family of at least 4 kids. Since it seems that pregnancy keeps slipping from our hands every month, we sometimes mourn the other kids that we "might" never have. I think this is hard for people to understand...just like its hard for us to understand what people mean by being thankful that we at least have Callie. Like I said, i am starting to understand why people say be thankful that God did bless us with at least one child. I missed her so much while she was gone, and it made me realize what life might have been like if we were going through all these tests, shots, and ultrasounds with no sure bet if it would work. My whole theory is this: I have Callie, so something must be working, right?!? Callie and I are best friends. I love her sooooo much and sometimes our bond and love is hard to put into words. I have seen a lot of lost lately at work and on tv. It makes me realize that I am so blessed to have my family and our health. I cry tears for the families and for all the loved ones that have been lost. I pray to God to keep my family safe and to guide us on our journey through life. Callie was playing dolls with me earlier today. I was feeding the baby a bottle, and callie walked up to the baby and started rubbing his head and said that she loves babies. Moments like this make my heart melt. We told her about the pregnancy a few months ago, but never told her that we lost it. She is too young to understand that, but she will tell you quickly that mommy has a baby in her tummy. She asks to kiss my tummy all the time, because she wants to kiss mommy's baby. Moments like this break my heart even more, because i know she really wants a sibling. I promise this to you, callie, that i will give you a sibling. Just give mommy a little more time. I am trying my best.

U/S update and more thoughts.....

2008-09-08T13:30:00.002-04:00

The doc just called me. I now have 5 eggs that are measuring 15mm. She is "concerned" that my other eggs aren't growing. She made a comment that maybe the u/s tech had a bad day with measuring my eggs?!? I don't even know what that means. She increased my dose to 100 units tonight and 75 unit tomorrow night, and I go back wednesday morning for another u/s and blood test. I don't even know what to think about this. I am not really worried because i am still early in this cycle and have at least 5 or 6 more days to grow my eggs. I guess i am a little perplexed.

On other notes......I was watching the news this morning, and I saw something that really touched a nerve. Apparently, there was a bad accident the other day that happened to a young man in his early twenties who was an Iraq veteran and his 21 month old son. The dad some how lost control of his car....TMI coming here......and wrecked the car. Some how the top of the car was completely torn off and both dad and son were ejected from the car....both were pronounced dead at the scene. This is what bothered me. The news reporter then goes on to say that the little boy was tossed from the car and hit a pedestrian, who was standing on the street, in the chest and fell to the ground. As the reporter is talking about this, they are showing pictures of the crash and pictures of the little boys shoes and socks on the pavement. I just think that this was distasteful and disrespectful news reporting. My heart goes out to that family that are suffering. God bless that family, and you will be in my prayers.

CD 9 U/S

2008-09-07T23:35:00.002-04:00

I had my last ultrasound on Saturday morning. I had 4 eggs all measuring 15mm. My last u/s on thursday morning showed the eggs at 15,15,10, and 9. My estrogen level was 156. He said that i was right where i should be, and he lowered my dosage to 50 units. I go in for another u/s and estrogen check on Monday morning. He said i might be ready to trigger that night depending on my estrogen levels. If not I would definitely be ready wednesday night. I have a really good feeling this month. It looks like I am going to have 4 good eggs. My husband and I went and saw Bangkok Dangerous tonight, and I had to give myself the shot during the movie. It was interesting! I couldn't see what I was doing, but i did give myself the shot without anyone calling the police. It was a pretty good movie by the way. I will update tomorrow after the appointment...off to watch Big Brother....

Funny story

2008-09-04T11:26:00.005-04:00

Last night, we went to Life Uniforms to get some scrubs for work. Callie knows that sometimes mommy has to take medicine in her stomach (my shots) and that I get a "boo-boo" that mommy has to put a band-aid on. I also have a little spot on my left wrist where I got bit by a mosquito. Callie loves to point out boo-boo's to me. Well, we were getting checked out at the cashier. Callie saw my boo-boo on my wrist and said, "Awwww mommy got a boo-boo. Let me kiss it." She then kisses my wrist, and then says, "Wait mommy. Can't forget the boo-boo's on your belly." She then proceeds to lift up my shirt right in front of the whole store and cashier. Lets just say that she was quicker than me. I don't think i blinded anyone that i could tell, but callie was upset that she couldn't kiss my boo-boo's.

I finally got my new computer yesterday. It has been a long time coming. This one is a lot quicker than the old one. Its pink which Callie loves. Phil and Callie are going to still use the old one while I will use just this one. It has a fingerprint scanner. Instead of someone guessing your password and logging on to your computer, you just scan your fingerprint to log on. Cool, huh? It took me like a thousand times to get it to scan my fingerprint. I was getting really frustrated with it. It kept saying my finger was too small! I don't think getting the pink computer was a bright idea though, because callie wants to play on the cool pink one!

CD 7 U/S Update

2008-09-04T11:01:00.002-04:00

I went in for my u/s today. I had 4 eggs that measured 15mm, 15mm, 10mm, 9mm. My lining measured at 5.7mm. I knew that I was going to have some good eggs, because I was having a LOT of twitches this time around just like the first month with the follistim. The u/s actually hurt a lot this time. The tech thinks its from my ovaries being tender. The two cysts that I had on my left ovary are completely gone or too small to measure which is great. I am supposed to take 75 units of Follistim tonight and tomorrow night with an u/s and estrogen level on Saturday morning. If the eggs grow as they should, they would be 21, 21, 16, and 15. These sizes would be enough to go ahead and trigger on Saturday night CD9. The trigger keeps getting earlier and earlier in my cycle. These numbers would give me to good eggs and one ok egg. Who knows maybe my other two can play catch up. Its my weekend to work, so at least i don't have to make an extra trip down town. I just need my lining to catch up which it has the last two months. If I trigger on Saturday night, I am going to use the Ovridel so I can give it to myself in my belly, or I might have my friend Kari give me the HCG shot in my butt Saturday night at work. I think she is looking forward to it =o)

CD 3 U/S

2008-09-02T04:51:00.002-04:00

Here it goes for month 3. The ultrasound showed that I had 2 cysts on my left ovary that measured 14 and 13. Doc said that since they were both under 15mm that we could go ahead and start this cycle, but be prepared that if the FSH stimulated the cysts to grow instead of the eggs, this cycle would be cancelled. I would then have to start BCP's for a month. She also said that since i over-stimulated last month that we would take it slower this month to avoid the OHSS. I started my shots on Sunday night at 100 units. I will do the shots until wednesday night, and I will go in for another u/s on Thursday morning. She said that she would probably lower my dosage even though the eggs still might be small. Last month my eggs were slow growers for the first 6 days, so they kept me on a higher dosage. The last two days of shots, my eggs grew like crazy and thus the OHSS...so slower this month. I just need a couple of good eggs, and I think i will be good to go.
On a side note, the doc also decided to take me off the metformin. She said with my history of being hypoglycemic and having the diarrhea that the risk out weighed the benefits. I will update on thursday.

Update from Doc

2008-08-28T22:49:00.005-04:00

Doc Update:
The doc has decided to prescribe metformin for me because research shows that metformin can help women with PCOS ovulate who were unable to do so, regulate cycles, build healthier eggs, and build a healthier lining. She said it helps women with PCOS regulate their insulin better. Women with PCOS usually don't regulate their insulin well. She said it could take up to 4 months for the metformin to work well. She gave me the option of sticking with the metformin only or metformin and follistim. I was like ummmmm i think i will keep with the follistim too since I know that it makes me ovulate. She wants me to stay on the follistim at least another 6-8 months since its working. Another good things is that she said that she just found out that I self pay for the follistim. She was like stop doing that. She said I always give free samples to my patients if their insurance doesn't cover the med. I was like dang why didn't you tell me that 2 months ago!! =o) I told her that I had enough meds for at least 2 more months, but that i would let her know when I ran out. This lifted a huge weight off my shoulders! She said that we have a 25% chance each month to get pregnant, and that she is confident that we will be pregnant soon!

Cycle Update:
I started spotting late today, so my official cycle day 1 will be tomorrow. CD 3 u/s will be on Sunday morning. I am going to start the metformin tonight. Wish me luck!

Callie Update:
Callie went to Jakob's birthday party on Monday at Chuck E Cheese's. She had a blast. She won 181 tickets in like one hour. She was really shy around the other kids and didn't want to sit down with them. She did eat a whole slice of cheese pizza, so we let her play some games. She hit the jackpot twice on two different games all by herself! She had a lot of fun, and is already asking to go back again. On Tuesday, we went to her grandparents house, but no pics because grandpa was at the hospital. Wednesday, we went to Mammoth Cave and Mammoth Cave Wildlife Museum. Callie was so awesome at Mammoth Cave. I really thought that she was going to get scared. She did all the walking by herself. She climbed all 500 stairs and walked the mile long, two hour trip. She loved to see the bats, spiders, and deer. She found a piece of the cave on the floor, and she tried to stick it in her pocket to take it home!

14 DPO

2008-08-26T19:55:00.003-04:00

Well, i got the news today that i was kind of expecting. Blood pregnancy test was negative. Its ok though we just move on to the next month. This will be our 3rd month of the follistim. My doc is supposed to call me tomorrow and let me know what the plan is. I stopped taking the prometrium, and I should get my period in the next two to three days. Here is to hoping we have three to four good eggs this month!
Callie is going to Mammoth Cave tomorrow, so check back for some more pictures and probably a funny story or two!!!

12DPO and State Fair

2008-08-24T13:07:00.002-04:00

Well, I took a test this morning, and it was a negative. No big deal. I was kinda expecting it. I just didn't feel it this month like I did last month. I still have to go in on Tuesday for a blood test, and then I can start all over. I am not upset like I was last month, because like I said I wasn't having the same symptoms like I did last month. I have faith that next month will be our month. Plus if it is, the due date would be June 7th which is our wedding anniversary. Cool, huh? Also now I can go to an amusement park this week!

On to better news: the fair. Boy was it H.O.T!!!!!! We were only there for 5 hours. When we were walking back to our car at 6pm, my car said it was 99 degrees outside! Ouch!! Callie was so well behaved! She wanted to get out and walk around, but i was nervous because there were soooo many people there. She held my hand and never let go and walked like 90% of the time. She really enjoyed the animals the most. I will leave you some wonderful pics of our adventures!

This is Callie standing next to a MEAN looking elk:

Callie trying to get the sheeps attention:
Callie asking mommy for a bunny:
Watching these pigs feed brought back breastfeeding memories:

(also some woman standing next to me commented saying that one of the pigs had a bad latch!!)

Callie's new favorite cartoon character is Scooby Doo:

But she still loves Dora and can speak more Spanish than you can!
Another cool cake:
Time to cool off!
This is the first fish Callie ever caught:
This is our vacation week, so lots of stuff to do this week and tons more pictures to come!

8 Days Post Ovulation

2008-08-20T23:08:00.002-04:00

I thought I would drop in and give some updates about what has been going on around here. I am currently 8DPO. I am still having the increase in urination and feeling bloated. The cramping pain is gone. My new symptoms are my boobs feel like they weigh 50lbs and my nipples are still hard 100% most of time time. Plus the last day or so, I have been unbelievably tired! It took everything i had in me to make myself go to work last night. On the other hand, I haven't had any of the twinges like I did last month, so I don't know if this is good or not. I haven't taken any test which is great for me. I still plan on taking a test on sunday which I will be 12DPO. The blood test is still for Tuesday.
On other news, one more day of work, and I am off for one whole week....waahhhooooo!! We are going to Rough River for a few days, the state fair, Kings Island, and don't know what else yet.
Callie hasn't been feeling well lately. On monday, she was running a low fever and stayed in bed all day. Normally Callie is bouncing off of the walls! I gave her some tylenol, and she was fine all day tuesday. Wednesday morning, she woke up and threw up all over herself! Phil was giving her a bath when i was coming home from work. She threw up again after that too. I gave her some tylenol, and she went right back to bed and woke up fine. I don't know if maybe she is trying to fight off something or not. Strange huh??
I guess that is all for now. Keep us in your thoughts!!

Pictures taken by grandpa

2008-08-18T02:18:00.004-04:00

My miracle video:

2008-08-16T00:00:00.001-04:00

Random Thoughts

2008-08-15T23:22:00.003-04:00

This blog will be about random things that I have been thinking/happening to me lately.

Work:

I can't STAND when I go to work and someone tries to steal my assignment. There is this girl at work who is kind of a slacker. Well I have been taking care of the same 2 kids at work for the last 3 weeks. One is on a ventilator and the other one isn't on the vent anymore. Well, if you have a vent at work, you only take care of one other baby whether they are on the vent or not. In the section i was in, there was one vent and 4 babies not on a vent. I was taking care of the vent and one off, so the other girl has to take the 3 offs. This is usually a busy assignment, and she likes to walk around a socialize which would be hard to do if you have 3 offs. She tried to take my assignment, and when i wouldn't give it to her, she started saying smart-alec stuff to me. Like I was going to have a hard time with the vent because the baby could be wild. I was like....yeah she can be a busy kid, but I have taken care of her for the last 3 weeks. I think I am capable of taking her!! Grrrr!! People like this make me so mad! I have been a nurse in the NICU for over a year now, and I am more than capable of taking care of my patients!!!

Dreams:

I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamed that a friend at work had to be my surrogate. She carried my baby for me, and when she was 5 months pregnant with my child, I got pregnant. Strange huh??

Symptoms:

I have been having the WEIRDEST symptoms lately! I am now 4DPO and still am really sore from all of the ovary cramping that I had while I was ovulating. It still hurts to sneeze, laugh, cough, sit, or stand. I didn't have these symptoms last month. Plus, since I ovulated::::TMI coming:::: my nipples have been EXTREMELY sore. They stay hard constantly. Just wearing a seat belt or bra hurts! I didn't have this last month either. Also, the last 4 days, I have been peeing constantly like every 3 hours. Last night I peed 4 times during the night. I am talking about holding it until i can't any longer and then peeing. I normally pee once a night, so this is way weird for me! What do you all think?? I used the exact same medicinine this month that I used last month, so why the weird symptoms??

I will leave you some pics of the most gorgeous girl in the world, my daughter Callie:

CD 13 and BSB Pics!!

2008-08-12T15:31:00.004-04:00

I got my egg on my monitor this morning. I was so excited. I guess my mom did the shot correctly. Now she says she wants to go back to school to be a nurse. She said that it was so fun doing it. I was like mom nursing isn't all about inflicting pain on someone...LoL!!! Anyways, I was in so much pain last night from the ovulation cramping. Now my lower abdomen and back are so sore. It feels like I have done a million sit ups!! Ouch!
Well like I promised here are some awesome pics from the Backstreet Boys concert!!

Here is Nick:Here is Howie:
Here is A.J.:

(Can we say S.E.X.Y.!!!)

Here is Brian:
A group shot:
And here is Callie's future husband:

Bailey (Brian's son)

CD 11 U/S

2008-08-11T22:40:00.002-04:00

Well, i went to the doctor for the ultrasound on Sunday morning after work. Lets just say that I had a lot of eggs. I counted 4 on the left side, and on the right side I lost count after the fifth egg. The ultrasound tech said that I wasn't quite there yet. I went home and went to bed. The doctor called me a few hours later and said that I had one really good eggs and two ok eggs. She said that I also was borderline for ovulation hyperstimulation syndrome. She said that I couldn't take any more follistim because I would grow to many mature eggs, and they would have to cancel my cycle this month. She then proceeded to tell me how to mix my HCG shot and where my husband would give it. HOLD the train up....no one told me that my husband had to give me the shot. She said since it was on Sunday that no one was at the office that could give it to me. This is just great. I told her that I wouldn't be able to get the shot until around midnight on sunday because of the concert. She said that would be fine and also give my other two eggies a few more hours to grow. Sorry to disappoint you guys but it looks like I didn't have to give myself a shot at the concert. It was an AWESOME show!! I will post pictures of it tomorrow. I was too scared to let my husband give me the shot. He is such a wuss when it comes to stuff like that. I went over to my mom's house, and she gave me the shot. It wasn't that bad, but this morning when I woke up my left butt cheek is killing me! I will ovulate around 10am to 12noon on Tuesday. I got a positive HPT today so i know the HCG shot worked. I should get my egg symbol tomorrow too. We BD today and will tomorrow and wednesday. I start the prometrium on wednesday and can go in for the blood pregnancy test on August 26th. Wish us luck! I'm heading to bed because I can already feel the cramping starting in my ovaries already!

CD U/S 9

2008-08-10T03:04:00.002-04:00

Sorry about being slow about updating. I was kinda sad about what was going on with my ultrasounds so I stopped posting about them. Turns out that I wasn't understanding the new protocol that they are using with me. Last month, I used the Femara with the Follistim. I only had to take the Follistim shots for 5 days. This month they have me on the super-ovulation protocol. I have to take at least 10 shots of Follistim, and they want a slow growth of my eggs. No one told me this, and after 5 days of shots and slow egg growth I was worried it wasn't working. However, on friday's ultrasound it showed that I had 6 eggs measuring 11mm. My max egg count is 6, so she lowered my follistim dosage to 75 units for friday and saturday night. I have another ultrasound on sunday morning along with an estrogen level. My doctor is happy with my results and assures me that I am looking good for this month. The ovary crampings are starting to pick up now, so I think I am growing some eggs. We had 3 eggs last month with one fertilizing, so we are hoping with 6 eggs that we will get twins, but anything is fine with us as long as they stick =o) The crazy thing is I am going to a Backstreet Boys concert tonight with my sister, and I have to figure out how to smuggle my medicine in (on ice) and give myself an injection in the middle of a packed concert hall without someone thinking I am shooting up. Hahahahahhahaha!!! I will update Sunday night.

CD 3 U/S

2008-08-02T21:51:00.002-04:00

I went to the doctor this morning for my ultrasound. I had like 4-5 follicles that all were around 9mm which is good for this time at my cycle. My lining was 6-7mm, and no cysts on my ovaries, so I was cleared to start my meds this time. My doctor called me a little later in the morning and wanted me to start the follistim at 100 units for tonight, Sunday, and Monday night with a follow up ultrasound on Tuesday morning. She upped the dosage from last month, so hopefully maybe i will have 4 or 5 good eggs this month. I already did the shot for tonight, and it kinda hurt more than i remember. I just hate that I have to give myself shots at work, because you never know if something is going to happen (admission or you baby crapping out on you). I just have to make sure that I take the shot on time. At least I will already be down town at work tuesday morning for the ultrasound.
On the other hand, my dad wants me to meet him for dinner or something tuesday night. He wants to talk to me. I don't want to talk. He thinks I am not happy with my life. I think he wants to talk to me about my marriage which I don't think he has any room to be talking. I am really emotional right now with my period and all the hormones that of course I am crying a lot and very emotional. My parents think that this is getting to me and want me to take a month off. Hello!! This is only my second month! They just don't understand. They think that if i just wait it will come back. Its already been 2 1/2 years. My fertility won't come back, and I think they need to realize that. Then my dad said that I just need to accept that fact that I might never have any more children which is not the case. We will have more children even if we have to adopt. I am only 25 I have 10 good years to get pregnant. I just wish they could understand where I am coming from. My husband understands that I am just really emotional, and he tends just to let me be until it passes. I warn him ahead of time. I just wish people could understand just a little bit of what is going on. You can't even grasp the feelings of being "broke" (not being able to conceive) unless you have been through it before. Thanks for listening.

CD 2

2008-08-01T20:01:00.002-04:00

Today has been a terrible day. I have been very emotional and have been crying non-stop. I'm sure some of its still left over guilt about last month, and being on my period isn't helping me any. We were supposed to get the loan today to pay for my medicine for the next 3 months. I let my husband do all the calling and arrangement with the loan officer. When we showed up the office, he wanted our check stubs. Well of course my husband forgot to mention this to me, and we didn't have our check stubs with us. Its 4:00 on friday and they said we could come back on monday. Well, i needed the money today to pay for the medicine so it would be here by monday because that is when I am supposed to start the shots again. I had to borrow the money from my parents and now we have to go back on tuesday to fill out the paper work so that I can give them the money back. All the medicine with the needles cost me $550 for a one month supply. Ouch! I hope this works this month, because it is going to be really hard to come up with that money each month. Did i mention I have a headache? I am taking my husband to work and putting Callie to bed. I am so tired. I have a doctors appointment saturday morning at 7:45 for an u/s to make sure everything looks good before we start the shots. I have been having heavy bleeding and passing clots. This isn't normal for me, but since its after a chemical pregnancy I guess its normal. I will update tomorrow after my u/s.

CD 1 Again

2008-07-31T22:45:00.002-04:00

Here we go again. I started my period today. It started as spotting and got heavier in the afternoon. My doc called me again this morning to check up on me. I happen to be reading a book waiting for the sleepiness part to kick in. She was surprised that I answered the phone, so was I =o) She had all my labs back and affirmed that it was a chemical pregnancy. She said they are fairly common, and they tend not to do anything unless you have 3. Then they do some genetic testing on my husband and me. I don't feel that this is the case, since Callie is normal. I just think it was a fluke. She said that she usually advised waiting a month after miscarriages so you can psychologically heal unless we felt ready to move on which we do. I have been doing the waiting game for over a year now. This is our only second time to actually try to get pregnant. She said well call me when you get your period. I told her that i thought it was coming since I was spotting. She said that I need to call their office tomorrow to talk with the manager of the super ovulation department to set me up in their STAPP program. Don't ask me what that means. I don't know =o) It has something to do with a pharmacy that runs good deals on drugs. She thinks she might want to use a different drug called Repronex this time around. I said that I was fine with the follistim, but that whatever she felt was better for me I would do. Doctor knows best =o) I'm filling good for this month except for all the cramping =o) I put in another call this afternoon and left a message for my doc that I started my period. Should go in for an ultrasound for CD 3 to make sure there are no cysts on my ovaries, and if i get clear on that we should be ready to start this month. Wish us luck! I will update as I know stuff.

What to expect when your NOT expecting

2008-07-30T00:24:00.002-04:00

Isn't that a good title =o) The follow up blood work on Monday was HCG of 1.6 which i knew it was going to be negative. They also drew blood to find out my blood type but that won't be back for a few days. The nurse said to stop the prometrium, and I should have a period in the next week or so. It will be tough knowing that my "little angel" will come out in all this blood which is going to make for a nasty period. Callie still ask me if she can kiss the babies (my tummy). Its probably a good thing that she is too little to understand all this. I don't know how i would be able to explain it. I think I should change the title of this blog to TTC#3 since technically we did conceive #2. What do you all think? I ran into my doctor on the way out of the office, and she asked me how I was doing. I told her about the chemical pregnancy, and she told me that she was sorry. She said well at least you got past the hard part (getting pregnant). I asked her about my eggs just sitting around there if that would mess up the quality of the egg, and she said no that the eggs get recycled each month. She said that women are more fertile after a chemical pregnancy/miscarriage, so here is looking to next month! I am supposed to call her when i get my period so that I can start setting up my ultrasounds and buy my injections for this month. I WILL get pregnant again. Faith is the only thing that is pulling me through this.

Chemical Pregnancy

2008-07-27T15:54:00.002-04:00

I guess the nurse's guess was right. I took a test this morning and it was a negative. I still have to go in on Tuesday to have a blood test to confirm. Its just really disappointing. I think the hardest part will be telling the people at work that it didn't stick. I guess I learned my lesson. I will just not tell anyone this early. Its so hard not to tell anyone after they've known we have had problems. Oh well. I guess its on to next month.